If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, would you help with son's wedding too?

[Anonymous]

If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, and your son is marrying someone whose family cannot afford a wedding, would you help them with their wedding financially? Or just say no, let them either have no wedding or put it on their credit card?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on if you want any kind of relationship with your son and his future children. It would be really hard to say that we paid for your sister and you get nothing and then expect him to be fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I would only pay as much for one kid as I could reasonably afford to spend for all of my kids, gender doesn't figure in to the calculation for me.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

[Anonymous]

I only have boys but I would treat all the kids the same. But, I wouldn't do a big wedding for anyone, just a small one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, and your son is marrying someone whose family cannot afford a wedding, would you help them with their wedding financially? Or just say no, let them either have no wedding or put it on their credit card?

Are you a time traveler from the past? Did you pay for your son to go to college but not your daughter?

You should contribute equal amounts to all of your children for their weddings and/or towards the honeymoon, down payment etc, regardless of what the other parents choose to contribute or can afford.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you would treat them differently? Do you generally prefer your daughter over your son?

[Anonymous]

Your question is ridiculously far outdated. You pay for an equal amount for both kids, regardless of gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, and your son is marrying someone whose family cannot afford a wedding, would you help them with their wedding financially? Or just say no, let them either have no wedding or put it on their credit card?

Are you a time traveler from the past? Did you pay for your son to go to college but not your daughter?

You should contribute equal amounts to all of your children for their weddings and/or towards the honeymoon, down payment etc, regardless of what the other parents choose to contribute or can afford.

LOL, OP here, and I am actually the daughter in law. The "son" and I have been married for years now, we didn't have a wedding because his parents wouldn't pay for anything and at the time we were both poor. Prior to my marriage, they paid everything for their daughter to have a big nice wedding, Don't know why but this has been on my mind recently, I am curious what others think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I would only pay as much for one kid as I could reasonably afford to spend for all of my kids, gender doesn't figure in to the calculation for me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I would only pay as much for one kid as I could reasonably afford to spend for all of my kids, gender doesn't figure in to the calculation for me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the 21st century, Captain America.

Yes, we no longer consider our daughters chattel and we no longer dower our daughters to another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, and your son is marrying someone whose family cannot afford a wedding, would you help them with their wedding financially? Or just say no, let them either have no wedding or put it on their credit card?

Are you a time traveler from the past? Did you pay for your son to go to college but not your daughter?

You should contribute equal amounts to all of your children for their weddings and/or towards the honeymoon, down payment etc, regardless of what the other parents choose to contribute or can afford.

LOL, OP here, and I am actually the daughter in law. The "son" and I have been married for years now, we didn't have a wedding because his parents wouldn't pay for anything and at the time we were both poor. Prior to my marriage, they paid everything for their daughter to have a big nice wedding, Don't know why but this has been on my mind recently, I am curious what others think.

You should feel grateful that you and your husband are now entitled to defer to your SIL to handle your in-laws elder care needs since that’s how a traditional family would operate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you paid for a big wedding for your daughter, and your son is marrying someone whose family cannot afford a wedding, would you help them with their wedding financially? Or just say no, let them either have no wedding or put it on their credit card?

Are you a time traveler from the past? Did you pay for your son to go to college but not your daughter?

You should contribute equal amounts to all of your children for their weddings and/or towards the honeymoon, down payment etc, regardless of what the other parents choose to contribute or can afford.

LOL, OP here, and I am actually the daughter in law. The "son" and I have been married for years now, we didn't have a wedding because his parents wouldn't pay for anything and at the time we were both poor. Prior to my marriage, they paid everything for their daughter to have a big nice wedding, Don't know why but this has been on my mind recently, I am curious what others think.

You should feel grateful that you and your husband are now entitled to defer to your SIL to handle your in-laws elder care needs since that’s how a traditional family would operate.

I like your thinking! OP. I highly doubt that my inlaws think that way. Everyone who replied thinks parents should contribute equal amount to their kids' weddings. I don't know why my in laws refused to. They have been pretty nice to me over the years but the wedding thing still hurts me deeply t be honestly. I've always wanted a wedding and I will never have one. Looking back we should've just paid with a credit card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the 21st century, Captain America.

Yes, we no longer consider our daughters chattel and we no longer dower our daughters to another family.

Maybe read the thread b4 dishing out the snark.