What do you say to your student

[Anonymous]

I was at a parent information meeting tonight and they shared about How to Raise an Adult (Lythcot-Haines) and a book about Never Enough: Toxic Achievement Culture (Wallace) and what it’s doing to our kids.

It got me thinking about how we talk to kids about AAP and how it can not only be damaging to the community feeling but to kids both who are eligible and not eligible because of our focus as adults. It wasn’t like this where I grew up.

Can we change this? I want kids to have their needs met but I’m also worried about the messages kids are soaking in. There were some good tips in both books for me as a parent but it’s not how I hear many parents talking about school with other parents and even in front of their kids.

[Anonymous]

Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

I mean, It is regular school… but the divide is real and the kids know and a large part of the problem is the parents . We started by saying nothing and for DC1 it was during covid and virtual school so the chatter at school wasn’t there. Eventually, when they’re in class w other kids whose parents say plenty and the kids repeat, then you have to respond.

DC2 was very aware of the testing and process in 2nd bc a few other kids in class were stressed out and constantly talking about how their parents wanted them in AAP bc they’re so much smarter. They asked us why we weren’t doing practice tests at home like their friends. We told them AAP is NBD and unfortunate that their friends feel so stressed. We told DC2 there are super smart, hardworking friends in base and AAP and it really doesn’t matter which program they’re in bc they’ll learn a lot and work hard wherever they are. We’re at a high SES center school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

No kid is dumb enough not to notice

[Anonymous]

Those books were never shared at our schools meetings. What school are you at that the AART or Principal is using books to tell the parents to chill out. I mean, that doesn’t even feel passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a parent information meeting tonight and they shared about How to Raise an Adult (Lythcot-Haines) and a book about Never Enough: Toxic Achievement Culture (Wallace) and what it’s doing to our kids.

It got me thinking about how we talk to kids about AAP and how it can not only be damaging to the community feeling but to kids both who are eligible and not eligible because of our focus as adults. It wasn’t like this where I grew up.

Can we change this? I want kids to have their needs met but I’m also worried about the messages kids are soaking in. There were some good tips in both books for me as a parent but it’s not how I hear many parents talking about school with other parents and even in front of their kids.

One great solution is the AAP for ALL model where all students are in AAP and expectations are raised for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a parent information meeting tonight and they shared about How to Raise an Adult (Lythcot-Haines) and a book about Never Enough: Toxic Achievement Culture (Wallace) and what it’s doing to our kids.

It got me thinking about how we talk to kids about AAP and how it can not only be damaging to the community feeling but to kids both who are eligible and not eligible because of our focus as adults. It wasn’t like this where I grew up.

Can we change this? I want kids to have their needs met but I’m also worried about the messages kids are soaking in. There were some good tips in both books for me as a parent but it’s not how I hear many parents talking about school with other parents and even in front of their kids.

One great solution is the AAP for ALL model where all students are in AAP and expectations are raised for all.

But then the smart kids would be separated from the loud and disruptive kids defeating the purpose of AAP

[Anonymous]

We don’t end another AAP bread, OP. The topic has been covered ad nauseum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

My kid was told about an hour before orientation. Why tell them until you have to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a parent information meeting tonight and they shared about How to Raise an Adult (Lythcot-Haines) and a book about Never Enough: Toxic Achievement Culture (Wallace) and what it’s doing to our kids.

It got me thinking about how we talk to kids about AAP and how it can not only be damaging to the community feeling but to kids both who are eligible and not eligible because of our focus as adults. It wasn’t like this where I grew up.

Can we change this? I want kids to have their needs met but I’m also worried about the messages kids are soaking in. There were some good tips in both books for me as a parent but it’s not how I hear many parents talking about school with other parents and even in front of their kids.

One great solution is the AAP for ALL model where all students are in AAP and expectations are raised for all.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

My kid was told about an hour before orientation. Why tell them until you have to?

Bc it’s not just about telling your kid the moment they enter the class. It’s about adjusting attitudes, stereotypes and the way we speak to all of our kids about the reality that we have 2 educational programs in 1 school system. Frankly, the schools could do a better job helping parents message this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

My kid was told about an hour before orientation. Why tell them until you have to?

Bc it’s not just about telling your kid the moment they enter the class. It’s about adjusting attitudes, stereotypes and the way we speak to all of our kids about the reality that we have 2 educational programs in 1 school system. Frankly, the schools could do a better job helping parents message this.

The AAP teachers will reenforce their sense of superiority regardless of what you do. Even the ones what don't intend to will use lines like you're level IV, you can do this or I expect more from AAP. In middle school some of the teachers are very vocal about different expectations vis a vis AA, honors and gen ed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never even told my kid. Kid just assumed it was regular school.

My kid was told about an hour before orientation. Why tell them until you have to?

Bc it’s not just about telling your kid the moment they enter the class. It’s about adjusting attitudes, stereotypes and the way we speak to all of our kids about the reality that we have 2 educational programs in 1 school system. Frankly, the schools could do a better job helping parents message this.

The AAP teachers will reenforce their sense of superiority regardless of what you do. Even the ones what don't intend to will use lines like you're level IV, you can do this or I expect more from AAP. In middle school some of the teachers are very vocal about different expectations vis a vis AA, honors and gen ed

Isn’t that something we can do better as though - as parents, as teachers, as students?

[Anonymous]

I never discussed it with my kid, until there was a disruption in class. He said a kid was rolling on the floor during class and principal had to be called. I said well if you get into AAP there would not be nonsense like this.

He's on travel soccer but on the third team, it's really just glorified rec. I analogized that AAP is like the first team, some kids are good at sports and some kids are good at school. It's not that who is smarter.

[Anonymous]

My kid was never LLIV and got LIV in 6th. It turns out the lots of the kids in ES who liked to rub AAP in other kids faces were LLIV. I don't mind my kid taking shots at those kids now