Not Cut Out for This

[Anonymous]

We bought a 1920s house and have been in it for two years. I despise it. Something is always wrong with it, from roof issues to HAVC to fireplaces to plumbing to mice to you-name-it.

We spent a bunch of money already fixing things/dealing with things we had to, now we don’t have enough left for the big changes we wanted to do that would have made the house much better.

It’s not unlivable by any means. We just don’t enjoy being in it and our visions for what it could have been are dashed. We’ve done little things like change a couple of toilets, updated the faucets, painted, sanded and repainted the floors, improved some of the lighting But the house still sucks. It just does. Any every day something else breaks or stops working that makes it suck more.

We can’t sell yet, we need to hold onto it longer so we don’t lose a bunch of $. If anyone else has gone through this, do you have advice?

Aside from don’t buy an old house unless you have the patience/stamina/money. This was our first purchase so we learned a big lesson. We aren’t old house people.

[Anonymous]

Year two is kind of the low point. The new home thrill has worn off and you haven't been there long enough to see appreciation. If you stick with it, around year ten you'll look at Zillow and realize you were living there for free for the past ten years. Once you realize you're playing with house money the emotional tone changes.

[Anonymous]

My house is 20 years old and in the past 4 years we've replaced HVAC, dishwasher, windows, and we still need to repair the gas fireplace which stopped working. We'll need to replace the roof in a few years too. Unless you purchase brand new, it's just part of homeownership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Year two is kind of the low point. The new home thrill has worn off and you haven't been there long enough to see appreciation. If you stick with it, around year ten you'll look at Zillow and realize you were living there for free for the past ten years. Once you realize you're playing with house money the emotional tone changes.

oh yean DP here but we just finished year two. Not good. We found out all the things that were not discovered (or not obligated to be discovered) on our inspections.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, sympathies. Houses always need so much.

I noticed a lot of the things you mentioned changing already seem cosmetic, while the things "wrong" are boring functional things like HVAC. If you can, try to reframe your thinking to get excited (mildly?) about making a snug functional house that future you or future buyer will be comfortable in. Call it weather-tight, safe, energy efficient, good bones ... whatever framing, but function over style. Fix broken things, sure, but don't "update" finishes until your shell and guts are in good shape.

[Anonymous]

No mold emergency yet? Amateur. (Buy the expensive filters)

100 year old house prime location doubled in value in first 5 years. If I didn’t have so much equity and proximity I’d have left year 2 when I got my window estimates.

Your mortgage is pretty much free money at the rate you have. Fix something every tax return. The value will go up if you like the location.

[Anonymous]

Try to reframe your mindset. It may not have, say, the open floor plan you want so you find ways to make the rooms cozy instead.

[Anonymous]

I think some of what you describe is just plain old homeownership. Things are always breaking, whatever the age of the house.

[Anonymous]

Old homes are like old boats; beautiful to look at but a lot of work to keep that way. That being said I can't count home many times over the years I asked myself if it would be easier to rent while dealing with a water leak or broken appliance in my 1998 built home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to reframe your mindset. It may not have, say, the open floor plan you want so you find ways to make the rooms cozy instead.

I hate open floor plan. We are currently doing a huge remodel on a 1919 bungalow in Del Ray (adding second story and reconfiguring first floor to accommodate a foyer and staircase) and we are intentionally keeping rooms and alcoves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of what you describe is just plain old homeownership. Things are always breaking, whatever the age of the house.

X100 We are old hats at home-ownership and this year we've had to replace leaking skylights (3k) and our well pump (4k) started to go out so we just replaced that. Both happened within 6 weeks of each other, and both were at the end of their useful life (40 years) and happened right after we finished a small bathroom remodel. So the emergency fund took a pretty big hit this year. Things break or need replaced in a house, it's normal (I'm praying every day that our old water heater hangs on for a while yet). It's also normal to get frustrated/mad/whatever. It will pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to reframe your mindset. It may not have, say, the open floor plan you want so you find ways to make the rooms cozy instead.

I hate open floor plan. We are currently doing a huge remodel on a 1919 bungalow in Del Ray (adding second story and reconfiguring first floor to accommodate a foyer and staircase) and we are intentionally keeping rooms and alcoves.

Just an example of a mindshift.

[Anonymous]

I think less goes wrong on a 1920 house than one built 20 years ago.

I think a lot of what you describe may be the result of deferred maintenance from previous owners that knew they were going to sell.

We did a lot on our 1920 house for the first couple of years, but much less in later years.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. We did our first significant renovation at year 8.

[Anonymous]

What attracted you to the house in the first place? What kind of vision did you have for it?