girl playdate question

[Anonymous]

Hmmm so DD is getting older and now when she goes into someone's house for a playdate she is telling me about the "niceness/cleanliness" of the home and souviners displayed from International trips.

Just wondering if other people like this aspect of playdates as the kids get older?

[Anonymous]

Like what "aspects"? Seeing inside other people's homes? Specifically items from international trips?

It's of course normal to observe the relative cleanliness or niceness of a house you're in. We all do it. Sometimes it's very pleasant to be in an especially clean, well-appointed home. But also, sometimes it's a pain -- it kind of depends on the vibe. Personally, I have a very clean home (because I really value cleanliness) but intentionally it is not that fancy because I don't want to stress all the time about not staining or breaking or wearing out very expensive things. We travel a lot but don't display tons of evidence of those trips -- a few things but they are not super highlighted and don't necessarily stand out among family photos, kid art, and other decor that is meaningful to us but not a reflection of travel. Also we let people eat and drink in all the common areas when they are over and just accept we'll need to clean well after they leave. I want people to feel comfortable in my home. That's much more important to me than them feeling impressed.

If you are asking if you should buy nicer furniture or prominently display souvenirs from your African safari in order to impress your daughter's friends, my answer is "no".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm so DD is getting older and now when she goes into someone's house for a playdate she is telling me about the "niceness/cleanliness" of the home and souviners displayed from International trips.

Just wondering if other people like this aspect of playdates as the kids get older?

Yes but her idea of "nice" is quite different from mine.

[Anonymous]

We go on international trips about four of five times a year and never buy souvenirs. But our houses are very neat and clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm so DD is getting older and now when she goes into someone's house for a playdate she is telling me about the "niceness/cleanliness" of the home and souviners displayed from International trips.

Just wondering if other people like this aspect of playdates as the kids get older?

Yes but her idea of "nice" is quite different from mine.

+1 same lol

[Anonymous]

I would say yes, it sure is nice to be in a clean space. Shall we spend some time cleaning today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Souveiners from international trips"? What kind of hoarder slobs are these people?

People who can spell?

[Anonymous]

I think if your child made a comment about how clean someone else's house in, you should take a look around your house to see if perhaps it's a little messier than it could be.

Everything else, ignore.

[Anonymous]

Why is this a girl question?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think my kids comment on others’ homes. Some kids have better toys than others.

We live in a 12,000sf house. Some people comment that we have a nice house. We don’t have the most or best toys. We have a more adult house with no toys on the main level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think my kids comment on others’ homes. Some kids have better toys than others.

We live in a 12,000sf house. Some people comment that we have a nice house. We don’t have the most or best toys. We have a more adult house with no toys on the main level.

Don’t assume your child doesn’t make comments on other kids houses. They have a mother who comments she has a house 4x as big as most. This attitude of stating the square footage of your home might be rubbing off on them and you’re not aware of it. They might not understand that friends will have different kinds of homes and you don’t compare them to yours or make judgments on how others choose to live. Too many parents forget that manners are not always innate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think my kids comment on others’ homes. Some kids have better toys than others.

We live in a 12,000sf house. Some people comment that we have a nice house. We don’t have the most or best toys. We have a more adult house with no toys on the main level.

Don’t assume your child doesn’t make comments on other kids houses. They have a mother who comments she has a house 4x as big as most. This attitude of stating the square footage of your home might be rubbing off on them and you’re not aware of it. They might not understand that friends will have different kinds of homes and you don’t compare them to yours or make judgments on how others choose to live. Too many parents forget that manners are not always innate.

I don’t think my kids know what sf is. They definitely don’t know the sf of our house.

[Anonymous]

Just say "oh that's cool! What kind of souvenirs? " Be positive about it instead of so insecure, OP. Insecurity isn't something you want to pass to your kids. It's a generational crutch that's passed down. Make sure it stops with you.