Mom mental health issues overseas - what to do?

[Anonymous]

My mother lives in europe with my dad who is still alive (mom is late 70s and dad is 80).
My mother has a litany of physical and mental problems that sort of compound on one another. For example she has spinal issues and stomach issues and while sometimes they are ok, sometimes they will seem to 'flare' and then she spirals into panic and winds up in the hospital. Many of her doctors have declined over the years to work with her because her physical and mental issues seem to defy science/ attempts to help her. It's not that she is imagining the physical issues, but they are disabling to a degree that doesn't make sense scientifically. Eg when she is in full blown panic I've seen her scream and screech in pain when the blood pressure cuff inflates. She has a psychiatrist and is on various pills, but is constantly at the dr and getting scans etc.
I have no idea what to do about this. Parents do not want to move here so i am trying to help from overseas. Anyone else have a similar issue?
when she is not in panic mode she is pretty 'normal' and very nice. But the whole thing is kind of a mess. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My mom is in the US in the same state and has physical and mental health issues and screams and there isn't much I can do. She has someone managing Drs. visits, etc for her. She has medicine to manage the mental health issues which are likely intertwined with dementia, but she still has the right and ability to go off the meds and every time it causes massive issues. She doesn't really allow my input at all. She refuses to live anywhere, but in her home. Neighbors are scared of her at times.

So yes, it is all a mess and I hope I can bring you some comfort in knowing you aren't alone and even if your mom were a drive or a quick train or plane ride away, you may still have the exact same mess.

[Anonymous]

What kind of Europe are we talking about here, OP?

[Anonymous]

Can you hire a geriatric social worker to manage things.

[Anonymous]

I posted already, but does your dad make sure she actually takes the pills consistently? If she on say an SSRI that can help with anxiety and pain, but if she isn't taking it consistently it can cause a host of physical and mental health symptoms as her body goes haywire trying to adjust.

[Anonymous]

PP. I have somatic presentations of generalized anxiety and SSRIs are terrible for that condition. They don't touch somatization and they create more physical symptoms like digestive issues in particular, to obsess about. They also gave me depression when I had none before and did nothing for anxiety. I basically refuse any drug in that class as they are the catch-all for everything now and there is nothing wrong with my serotonin level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP. I have somatic presentations of generalized anxiety and SSRIs are terrible for that condition. They don't touch somatization and they create more physical symptoms like digestive issues in particular, to obsess about. They also gave me depression when I had none before and did nothing for anxiety. I basically refuse any drug in that class as they are the catch-all for everything now and there is nothing wrong with my serotonin level.

I am sorry to hear that. For some people it helped somatic issues, especially GI issues. In fact some are used off label for IBS.