Adjusting to independent living

[Anonymous]

My dad is moving into IL soon. Any tips on adjustment? We are worried that he will hate it.

[Anonymous]

My parents community has a welcoming group. They will ask him to dinner and for drinks. A good way to meet people.

[Anonymous]

My mom just moved in. First 2 weeks were lonely. Then she started getting active, going to groups, etc. Now she’s meeting people and starting to like it.

[Anonymous]

There are far fewer men than women at these places. If he still has his mind, he will get a lot of attention from the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

He still is sharp as can be, but really never liked groups or organized socializing. He always enjoyed well, just working and being busy around the house. Had a boat for many years (something else to tinker with).

I think this adjustment will be particularly hard.

[Anonymous]

My experience with men is that they tend to like the attention and care. My grandma didn’t like it and went rapidly downhill after moving in.

[Anonymous]

Have a GIANT TV, like the biggest TV possible installed before he moves in. Turned on (to sports) so it's ON when he moves in. And a comfortable chair. Eat a few of the first meals with him. Talk to the other residents, especially men, and help him get acquainted. Visit on a predictable schedule. Let the Activities Director know if you have concerns re: him making friends/participating.

[Anonymous]

If your dad liked tinkering with things, my FIL loved building models when he was older. Something to do that felt like an accomplishment. He had been in WWII and the Korean War, so he built planes and ships.

I think the hardest part of IL is giving up total freedom because while it is independent, they would come in every morning and wake my grandmother up. It was weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your dad liked tinkering with things, my FIL loved building models when he was older. Something to do that felt like an accomplishment. He had been in WWII and the Korean War, so he built planes and ships.

I think the hardest part of IL is giving up total freedom because while it is independent, they would come in every morning and wake my grandmother up. It was weird.

That's because your grandmother failed to hit the "I'm still alive" button residents are required to press before a certain time to let the staff know that they're still alive.

At my mother's place, an entire team of EMTs shows up -- and breaks in -- if she forgets to push the button. She only forgot once.

[Anonymous]

Encourage him to do activities. My parents moved to one last year and it took them a while to warm up to the activities. The other residents were incredibly welcoming but it took some prodding to get my parents to join things.

And yes. Hit the I’m alive button everyday or you will have many visitors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Encourage him to do activities. My parents moved to one last year and it took them a while to warm up to the activities. The other residents were incredibly welcoming but it took some prodding to get my parents to join things.

And yes. Hit the I’m alive button everyday or you will have many visitors

He likes to sleep in so this will be an issue. Never going to make breakfast at 8 am. He does have a giant TV and a comfy chair . Models are a great idea though.

[Anonymous]

He really is going to get a ton of attention from the female residents. A crazy amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your dad liked tinkering with things, my FIL loved building models when he was older. Something to do that felt like an accomplishment. He had been in WWII and the Korean War, so he built planes and ships.

I think the hardest part of IL is giving up total freedom because while it is independent, they would come in every morning and wake my grandmother up. It was weird.

That's because your grandmother failed to hit the "I'm still alive" button residents are required to press before a certain time to let the staff know that they're still alive.

At my mother's place, an entire team of EMTs shows up -- and breaks in -- if she forgets to push the button. She only forgot once.

Breaks in?

My mom's place doesn't have an "I'm alive" button, but they certainly have access to all the apartments. When she's pushed the "I fell and can't get up" button they opened the door with a key fob and let the EMT's in.