Forum Index
»
Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
nice article on only children
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Posting here because there was a recent post on the issue of whether to have another child. Also, the general parenting forum is not really pleasant to read anymore. So, I thought the gentle moms of this forum might refrain from unkind replies or less than gracious posts.
For those contemplating only having one child - here is a nice article summarizing recent research. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2002382,00.html. Bottom line - the article summarizes current research articulating that being an only is not a disadvantage. The author concludes that while she might have another child it will not be because she is concerned that being an only child will injure her child. If she has other children it will be for other reasons. |
Anonymous
|
Interesting article. I am an only child myself but chose to have two children intentionally.
As a child, I had no issues with being an only child. As an adult, I wish I had a sibling to have someone who shared my youth and a close family member of the same generation. I have cousins, but none that are close. And I am also very aware that even if I did have a sibling, we might not be close... For my own family, I wanted the environment of two children. And I'm very glad I have two. But, if had known that my first would have delays, I would have definitely postponed the second and it would have been a much harder decision... |
Anonymous
| We have an only child because that is all we want. I agree the economy does play a part, but I am also an "older" mother and I feel that I can keep up with one. Friends who have 2 and 3 are constantly juggling activities, play dates, school activities, jobs, etc. That is just not for me. My dd has a lot of friends, we do a lot of play dates, she is involved in activities, and I am always available to be involved with school. If I had more than 1, I don't know if I could do it "all". As far as being indulged, the only things that she gets more of is our attention, and activities. I grew up with a brother, and we are not close at all. Just because you have siblings, doesn't mean that you will automatically have someone by your side at all times. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. My brother and I are 2 years apart and once he left the house, we didn't really talk much. He is married now and I talk to his wife more than I talk to him. |
Anonymous
| I think the part that makes me sad about having an only child, is worrying about the child sitting alone at Thanksgiving dinner (or other occasion) when parents are gone. No sibs to share that with...just makes me kinda sad. |
Anonymous
I don't think that normally happens--by the time you're 'gone', they'll have their spouse, their own kids. I have an 'only' and when we are old and gone, he will have a wealth of extended family members and very close family friends (and his spouse and children) there for him. As PP stated, I know many siblings who spend far less time with each other than they do with close friends, even on holidays. Needless to say, I support parents who choose to have just one, or who for other reasons (nature, God) are blessed with only one. |
Anonymous
|
on post about an only child sitting alone in the future - that is a sad vision. To give you an alternate vision - by way of anecdote - my favorite "aunt" was my mother's childhood best-friend. That "aunt" and spouse and child were fixtures at all our holidays - we traded with them. Similarly, my spouse grew up in the military and another officer family functions in all important ways as his extended family. So - my husband's childhood best friend is now for all effective purposes an "uncle" to my child.
I hope this gives you an alternative vision - of how creating lasting mutualy supportive friendships can lead to "family." |
Anonymous
|
I had family and did not always have Thanksgiving with them. Plenty of times I spent it with other friends and we did our own thing. my bro lives in CA and he usually hangs out with his friends for Thanksgiving.
I have an only and I am older. yes, it kills me that I will be really really old when he is just in his 20's and 30's but that is what was dealt to me. I am just doing my best to make sure he is a good person and has the skills to survive on his own. And to know he was always loved. |
Anonymous
|
We have an only too, but that wasn't what we intended. I too am not happy that he will have parents in their 60s when he is in his 20s, but I had health problems and he showed up late in life (thank you acupuncture). But since his dad is an only, we have learned to have lots of friends.
I think it hard for larger families to be close anymore when people don't live in the same city. I grew up Italian with a large extended family and they were always in each others pockets, but then they lived around the corners from each other. The four of us live in 3 different cities. |
Anonymous
|
PP here: I agree the general parenting forum is really getting unpleasant. Maybe because I am an old mommy, but I just don't remember being that sharp/rigid about my baby - his needs, defending his "turf" with other parents at the playground or being so sensitive. Frustrated with daycare and later pre-school and regular school as we slowly uncovered LDs etc, but not this "political" correctness.
|