4th grade boys and birthday party invites

[Anonymous]

I realize that is a very specific headline but I’m curious how many parties is your 4th grade boy attending each year.

I have three kids and I feel that grade and group of parents has been the least engaged and active with personal events and other school related activities. Very little birthday parties or events have been planned this year.

My son is invited invited to maybe 2-3 parties a year. Which is completely fine with us. He’s not a small circle of friends who he loves and loves him.

Covid hit when these now 4th grades were in kindergarten and I know that impacted building connections early on but I’m curious if it just our school/classes that don’t do parties etc. or is it more general and that grade is just not as connected?

I realize my son is not invited to everything that might be happening within his grade/class and by 4th grade friends group have gotten smaller, but it feels like this is generally a very disengaged group. Just my experience or are others seeing the same?

[Anonymous]

Not in my experience. I have a 7th, 4th and 2nd grader. My 7th grader barely goes to 1 party a year. The boys don't really seem to do parties anymore and haven't since 4th grade. I think the parties just get smaller and fewer from that point on.

[Anonymous]

When my son was in 4th grade he got invited to maybe one birthday party a year.

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader gets 2-3 a year as well. I know for a fact there have at least 2 more this year he wasn't invited to for different reasons - but that's ok, because this year he chose an attendance-limited activity, so he can't invite the entire class, either. I think it gets more common at this age.

[Anonymous]

By 4th grade, so many parents (and kids) are done with birthday parties. This year we did a sleepover with two close friends and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 4th grade, so many parents (and kids) are done with birthday parties. This year we did a sleepover with two close friends and that was it.

This is it too. Since 4th grade, we haven't had a party. My son has a summer birthday and nobody is ever really around so he hasn't had one in a few years and doesn't really care either.

[Anonymous]

The all-class parties are pretty much over by 4th. Most kids just do a sleepover or an experience with 2-3 close friends.

[Anonymous]

Our oldest is in 4th grade and my husband will take him and two friends to some kind of sporting event or a place like Top Golf.

[Anonymous]

By 3rd grade my son did not attend any large class parties. He was invited to a few parties with closer friends, maybe 3 all year. He is in 4th now and has not attended a birthday yet this year.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4th grade boy and at our school there are about 25 of them who all have parties. I'd love to pare it down, but it seems impossible. Parties run well north of $1000.

[Anonymous]

My third grader gets invited to 2-3/month. It’s a lot and often conflicts with sports schedules so we don’t make them all. These vary from large class parties to making the cut for the only 2-3 other friends invited for a small birthday outing event.

I’m actually looking forward to the parties slowing down at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 4th grade boy and at our school there are about 25 of them who all have parties. I'd love to pare it down, but it seems impossible. Parties run well north of $1000.

That seems kind of strange. By 4th grade kids are pretty particular about who their friends are and who they aren't. So why are they still inviting everyone? Are these kids who don't have particular friend groups?

[Anonymous]

mine gets invited to group parties still

[Anonymous]

I have a 4th grade DD and bday parties are still going strong over here, ha! She's been to several this fall. They are NOT all-class parties anymore -- kids are picking the guest lists -- but there are still lots of parties. There are also plenty of the smaller sleepover, one-or-two friends going somewhere fun type of parties too...

I really think any suggestion that what you are seeing in terms of parties, involvement, etc. is due to Covid is just not true. If anything I think we were all extra eager to get our kids out and socializing ...

[Anonymous]

We have a 6th grader who attend 3-5 parties a year and hosts his own. The parties mostly have 6-8 kids invited and tend to include an activity.

Fourth grade was the after Covid year but he still was invited to parties.

It depends on the kid. He has a few good friends who rarely have a party and some others who do something every year. He has a summer birthday so we tend to have a pool party.