Trying to understand my kid

[Anonymous]

My DS will be 5 in December. Almost a month ago, we were on a playdate at the Lego Center in Springfield Mall per the suggestion of the other mom (our kids know each other through the same daycare). It got off to a bit of a rocky start because my daughter really enjoys Legos and wanted to really delve into the building, but her friend wanted to quickly explore each of the areas.
There was a portion where kids climbed into this area where they slid down slides and crawled through these cylidrical things. It was pure chaos. My daughter was holding up the line because she was scared to go down the covered slide and eventually a kid just elbowed her in the stomach because she was in the way. The teenager who helped keep the calm had to go in there and help my daughter out (since adults weren't allowed inside). There was another portion where my daughter was too scared to leave so stayed kind of stuck in the crawl space. I was in tears a bit because she was scared and eventually got her way out.
There were other portions of the playdate where my daughter had small meltdowns--- honestly, she was overwhelmed. And honestly, looking back, I really should have done more research about the place. It was teeming with kids just running all over the place.
I feel like the playdate mom won't ask us "out" again because of this. A part of me is like "OK, whatever" but a part of me feels like I should have done something else to prepare my daughter? But I'm not sure what?
Anyone been through this? Is this something I should be concerned about? Or is just how we learn our kids?

[Anonymous]

OP again... I meant to say "DD"-- it's all about my daughter! lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be 5 in December. Almost a month ago, we were on a playdate at the Lego Center in Springfield Mall per the suggestion of the other mom (our kids know each other through the same daycare). It got off to a bit of a rocky start because my daughter really enjoys Legos and wanted to really delve into the building, but her friend wanted to quickly explore each of the areas.
There was a portion where kids climbed into this area where they slid down slides and crawled through these cylidrical things. It was pure chaos. My daughter was holding up the line because she was scared to go down the covered slide and eventually a kid just elbowed her in the stomach because she was in the way. The teenager who helped keep the calm had to go in there and help my daughter out (since adults weren't allowed inside). There was another portion where my daughter was too scared to leave so stayed kind of stuck in the crawl space. I was in tears a bit because she was scared and eventually got her way out.
There were other portions of the playdate where my daughter had small meltdowns--- honestly, she was overwhelmed. And honestly, looking back, I really should have done more research about the place. It was teeming with kids just running all over the place.
I feel like the playdate mom won't ask us "out" again because of this. A part of me is like "OK, whatever" but a part of me feels like I should have done something else to prepare my daughter? But I'm not sure what?
Anyone been through this? Is this something I should be concerned about? Or is just how we learn our kids?

I'm trying to say this gently, but this is an issue. Are you in therapy? These places are chaotic and it's ok that she was overwhelmed, that's normal! But to me your reactions are not.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate that. I guess I was trying to say I felt bad because she seemed scared and I technically wasn’t allowed to go in and help her%. I’m also 5 months postpartum so that might make me a bit more whatever…

[Anonymous]

Just text the other mom " hey, it seems like Lego Adv Ctr was too much for Larla, but we'd still love to meet up with you guys again. How about Sunday afternoon at X'iclock at XYZ Playground?. I'll bring snacks for everyone".

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t even mention the Lego stuff, just invite them to do something low-key.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a sensitive DD here, who is now in HS. It totally depends on the other mom - I’ve had some who were done after that, & some who completely rolled with it & didn’t mind at all.
Say nothing about Lego land. Suggest another play date at your local playground or at home, somewhere DD is comfortable, and then you will find out which kind of mom this person is. Either one is fine! But you will find moms who you can get together with who can handle little bumps or big feelings. If this family is not good with that, it’s ok, you will find other families.

[Anonymous]

The mom will very likely be understanding. All kids are different and some handle the business and chaos better than others. Suggest a playdate at your house or a playground or something more low key.

There really isn't anything you could have done to prepare your kid. I avoided places like this when DS was 4-5 years old because the chaos seemed to stress him out. He would get nervous and other kids either cutting him in line or getting annoyed with him being slower just made him more nervous. The only thing I really worked on with him is to be more assertive when kids would cut him in line.

He's 11 now and can handle all those chaotic places easily but knowing his limits, being more assertive, and pushing himself to overcome his nervousness with things definitely took time and effort on all our parts.

[Anonymous]

Steer clear of these chaotic places, especially when you can’t get in there and move her along. I wouldn’t worry about the other mom and meet at the park next time.

[Anonymous]

That's my DD... she is shy in general, and balks at entering crowded or chaotic places. This summer at the MoCo County Fair, she insisted on going on a ride with DS (2 years older), then froze up and screamed to get down - the operator kindly let her off the platform before starting up the ride. When she was a toddler, she didn't even like going to birthday parties at places like MyGym or Skyzone; it takes her a while to warm up to a place. Once she gets her bearings, she generally does fine and she is getting less reticent about loud places as she gets older, but I figure that's her personality and we'll stick to what she's comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

I understand where you’re coming from, but I wouldn’t worry too much about this. That place is pure chaos. So easy to feel overwhelmed there. And I have a hard time thinking a mom would be judgmental about this. Everyone’s kid has something they struggle with.