CIO for toddler

[Anonymous]

We sleep trained using the Ferber method at 6 months and it went very well. At 18 months, DC is going through a regression and is waking up multiple times a night. After letting them cry 15 minutes, we’ve been giving in and going into comfort, rock, sing, etc. — each time, takes nearly an hour to get them to sleep.

Pediatrician says after checking on them once to ensure safety, we should let them cry it out indefinitely to re-train. Curious what others have done in this situation?

CIO seems a lot harder now that DC can stand and cry for “mommy” and “daddy” repeatedly — breaks my heart but I do want sleep. Not willing to bed share with DC in our bed.

[Anonymous]

They will keep waking for the comfort, rock, sing. They likely enjoy it.

Yes you’ll have to stop if you want your child to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Waiting for 15 minutes is teaching your child to persist in crying. You need to undo that damage by going in immediately for a while, and then do CIO where you go in for a brief moment to settle them and don’t come back.

What is your bedtime routine?

[Anonymous]

Yeah 15 minutes means you’ve just trained her to cry, so now you have to grit your teeth and undo it.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately now that they are trained to persist you also need to take the safety concern seriously, because a kid with that training is more likely to try to climb and fall.

Maybe switch to a toddler bed and do rhe sleep shuffle thing where you lead them back j er and over? Or go in, and stay in the room without taking them out? Just be a silent reassuring presence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for 15 minutes is teaching your child to persist in crying. You need to undo that damage by going in immediately for a while, and then do CIO where you go in for a brief moment to settle them and don’t come back.

What is your bedtime routine?

Thanks! Bedtime has also become a bit tougher recently — we do diaper/pajamas/sleep sack, cup of milk, teeth brushing, book and then a couple of songs. DC generally takes 2-5 minutes of crying to get themselves to sleep but as of late, they’re having more difficulty getting themselves to sleep, sometimes requiring us to rock to sleep — realize this is forming a bad habit too. 😭

Guess we need to force CIO for however long it takes.

[Anonymous]

Op here - thanks for this advice! For those who have been through something similar, do you respond immediately or not at all?

Historically, when DC has woken, they put themselves back to sleep after crying for 5 or so minutes (and we didn’t respond). Just curious how we should have done things differently when they started crying for longer stretches in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for 15 minutes is teaching your child to persist in crying. You need to undo that damage by going in immediately for a while, and then do CIO where you go in for a brief moment to settle them and don’t come back.

What is your bedtime routine?

Thanks! Bedtime has also become a bit tougher recently — we do diaper/pajamas/sleep sack, cup of milk, teeth brushing, book and then a couple of songs. DC generally takes 2-5 minutes of crying to get themselves to sleep but as of late, they’re having more difficulty getting themselves to sleep, sometimes requiring us to rock to sleep — realize this is forming a bad habit too. 😭

Guess we need to force CIO for however long it takes.

I would fix bedtime first, even it takes CIO then. While that routine is being reestablished, I would start going in right away in the night, and doing whatever it takes.

Then once you have a firm routine for him to fall asleep at the beginning of the night, I would tackle the midnight wake ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah 15 minutes means you’ve just trained her to cry, so now you have to grit your teeth and undo it.

I know it’s hard and I’m on the other side of this but 15 minutes is nothing. You just have to really let her CIO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah 15 minutes means you’ve just trained her to cry, so now you have to grit your teeth and undo it.

I know it’s hard and I’m on the other side of this but 15 minutes is nothing. You just have to really let her CIO.

+1 they are older and have the energy to keep going for longer

[Anonymous]

Do not rock to sleep, everything else about the routine sounds fine.
Go in once in the night to reassure don’t engage in conversation and leave again. Don’t go back in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We sleep trained using the Ferber method at 6 months and it went very well. At 18 months, DC is going through a regression and is waking up multiple times a night. After letting them cry 15 minutes, we’ve been giving in and going into comfort, rock, sing, etc. — each time, takes nearly an hour to get them to sleep.

Pediatrician says after checking on them once to ensure safety, we should let them cry it out indefinitely to re-train. Curious what others have done in this situation?

CIO seems a lot harder now that DC can stand and cry for “mommy” and “daddy” repeatedly — breaks my heart but I do want sleep. Not willing to bed share with DC in our bed.

So they've effectively learned that crying for 15 mins = snuggles, singing, rocking.

[Anonymous]

It broke our heart to hear ours cry out too, but in 72 hours he was sleeping through the night perfectly again. Sending strength and ear plugs.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like sleep needs have changed and not enough sleep pressure if bedtime is a struggle and you’re having split nights (middle of night wake ups where they’re awake a long time). I’d do a later bedtime by a half hour consistently for a week and see if that fixes it.

Are they still napping? Dropping nap could also help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like sleep needs have changed and not enough sleep pressure if bedtime is a struggle and you’re having split nights (middle of night wake ups where they’re awake a long time). I’d do a later bedtime by a half hour consistently for a week and see if that fixes it.

Are they still napping? Dropping nap could also help.

At 18 months? No, an 18 month old should not be dropping nap.