Buried Under Five Generations of Stuff

[Anonymous]

Not quite ready to downsize, but I am ready to thin out this mess. My kids won't take their stuff, more stuff from cleaning out and selling my parents house, stuff that my parents had from their parents and grandparents.

I only took the best furniture and things I could use from my parents. Its the old family pictures and records where I don't know where to start. My mom was into geneaolgy, so there is tons of research, I even have my grandfather's framed High School diploma. An entire box of paraphenalia from a great uncle killed in WWII. The whole hoard is a history trove.

Has anyone else had to sort through this kind of stuff? What did you do with it? Throw some of it out? Keep it for my kids to get rid of when I go? I could parcel out to various relatives, but I don't have the time.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure I understand. You have a bunch of stuff from various generations in YOUR house? If so-

kids stuff-offer it to them (you did), make it clear it will be donated or trashed if not taken by x date assuming it is reasonable. If they have no room and something is very sentimental be open to storing?

Parents and grandparents stuff you don't want-put out an offer to anyone who wants it must come get by x date, otherwise decide what you want to keep, donate and trash or do freecycle or something. Maybe take photos of what you don't want to keep, but do want to remember. Don't think an estate sale place wants it-they are snooty.

My mother has a pile of junk she from older relatives that she hates, but refuses to get rid of and is livid nobody wants. That junk causes her so much anger and anxiety and she creates so much drama about it. It's just stuff. Let it bring someone else joy and let go.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. Yes, the stuff is at my house.

[Anonymous]

My best friend took a long time to go through her mother's stuff. It's a chore, and yet it's hard to throw it away without looking at it. And in the end, you're glad to have done it! The rest you need to donate to Goodwill.

My parents moved so often due to work, that they accumulated very little. I'm thankful for that. There's a lot of known history on my mother's side, but it was all made into a book by my great-grandfather, so no need to sort through it.

[Anonymous]

Digitize, then donate photos and documents to a local historical society.

[Anonymous]

Rent a dumpster and have at it.

[Anonymous]

if there are sentimental things (papers, photos, etc.), there is a service that will take them and turn them into pictures for a coffee table book of sorts. artkive

[Anonymous]

It’s a hard conversation but how long do you think your grandfather’s framed high school diploma needs to be hanging around? I would argue it was framed for him to enjoy while he was alive. It has done its job. You can let go of it.

I would say the same about the rest of the family history but if you really can’t let it go, it will take up less space if you digitize it.

[Anonymous]

For your adult kids, I would give them one box of stuff every time you see them. They take it with them or you throw it out, the end.

For the other stuff, I would first identify the low-hanging fruit, things you can part with, and take a load to the dump and a load to Goodwill. Then I would take it one box at a time. Try to do a box every week.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the tips!!! So tedious to go through.

[Anonymous]

When previous generations made no decisions re: their stuff, that was giving an answer. You have no responsibility here.

Hold each item. If your kids aren't going to want it, no need to keep it.

[Anonymous]

Keep the old stuff but get rid of the new stuff that clearly has no value, just things to use

[Anonymous]

Maybe have a friend or two over, go over these sentimental things while having a glass of wine?

[Anonymous]

If the geneology stuff is in just a few boxes, leave that until last because it takes up a lot of time to go through that small space. Start with big things that when they are gone, make a large difference.

No obligation to keep things that were sentimental to others...like keeping something of your grandparents' because it was sentimental to your dad.

The kids' stuff--provide a fading opportunity. "Hi kids! I'm clearing out the house. I'm putting all your stuff in (a spot). Feel free to come and get it. I've got an appointment with (Got Junk, or Goodwill) on December 1. I'll have them take anything that is still in (the spot) on December 1."

(If they are coming for Thanksgiving, that would be a great time for them to take stuff, or box it up and ship it back to their houses.)

[Anonymous]

Your parents never figured out what to do with stuff from their parents, who in turn never did anything about their own parents' stuff? You have every right to trash most of it. That's THREE generations between them and you and the stuff was never dealt with.

Worry about your own kids' stuff last. They've only been around a short period of time. Get rid of the oldest generation's trash first.