Adult Son with Phone

[Anonymous]

So we had friends over this weekend. We have known them a long time. Our 21 year old son was home this weekend too. He knows this family. So anyway we watched football, drank beer etc. At one point the wife of the couple asked if our son was allowed beer. We said “yes he’s 21, responsible, not driving.” Then we went to eat at our kitchen island-grilled steak and chicken. We were all sitting when my son grabbed his phone to check a text. The wife said “Matt no phones at dinner.” I got angry and said “Not your son. He’s fine.” She then proceeded to tell me the rules of her house with her middle school kids-who were at their grandparents. I said “uh huh” and changed the subject. I don’t get people who think they can just do whatever they want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we had friends over this weekend. We have known them a long time. Our 21 year old son was home this weekend too. He knows this family. So anyway we watched football, drank beer etc. At one point the wife of the couple asked if our son was allowed beer. We said “yes he’s 21, responsible, not driving.” Then we went to eat at our kitchen island-grilled steak and chicken. We were all sitting when my son grabbed his phone to check a text. The wife said “Matt no phones at dinner.” I got angry and said “Not your son. He’s fine.” She then proceeded to tell me the rules of her house with her middle school kids-who were at their grandparents. I said “uh huh” and changed the subject. I don’t get people who think they can just do whatever they want

She overstepped by correcting him but 1) your getting "angry" was an overreaction, and 2) even if you're an adult it is rude to check your phone at the table, especially if you have company.

[Anonymous]

so, she's odd. Do you want a friend this odd?

[Anonymous]

He was rude. Your friend taught him a good lesson on the risks of being rude in social contexts. Sometimes you’ll be called out.

[Anonymous]

I think it's rude for anyone to tell anyone else, especially an adult, that they shouldn't look at their phone, anywhere. I don't tolerate that kind of weird desire to control others in my life.

[Anonymous]

So you have 2 rude people in your family and she only has 1 rude person?

You win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you have 2 rude people in your family and she only has 1 rude person?

You win!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude for anyone to tell anyone else, especially an adult, that they shouldn't look at their phone, anywhere. I don't tolerate that kind of weird desire to control others in my life.

This.

He was a 21 year old in his own home. She's a busy body helicopter mom, who patrols other people's adult kids. I wouldn't be hanging out with her moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude for anyone to tell anyone else, especially an adult, that they shouldn't look at their phone, anywhere. I don't tolerate that kind of weird desire to control others in my life.

This.

He was a 21 year old in his own home. She's a busy body helicopter mom, who patrols other people's adult kids. I wouldn't be hanging out with her moving forward.

Kind of insane that she would correct him in his own house.

[Anonymous]

She's wrong and rude.

And also your adult son should not check his phone during a meal with guests or really anyone.

But she's way more wrong and rude. She should just quietly judge you and him like a normal person.

[Anonymous]

“Our house — our rules.” Pause. “Can I get you more iced tea?”

[Anonymous]

Nope, you did nothing wrong by telling her to shut up. If she doesn't like how people in your house act she can just not come back.

[Anonymous]

If this is your friend, why not give her a benefit of the doubt--that she's still in mommy mode and doesn't think of your kid as an adult? Cracking a joke would have gone over better than being angry.

[Anonymous]

She's obnoxious. He's an adult and doesn't need policing. In terms of group dynamics, he was part of the hosting family and it's particularly rude to tell hosts how to act in their own homes. Would she have told you the same?

[Anonymous]

YTA