Really loud kid

[Anonymous]

My 4yo has been loud since the day he was born. He’s fortunately an appropriate volume at school (he’s much much more reserved around groups of people) but at home he’s max volume anytime he’s excited, upset, enthusiastically playing, feeling ornery, or really anything other than just a maximally calm state.

The big problem with it is the 6yo gets overwhelmed by the noise level and starts melting down and the 2yo copies it and starts yelling too and I’m about to lose my mind. We’ve played volume regulation games, I don’t respond to requests he’s making to loud, but in general he’s just a very loud person (as is his dad which doesn’t help).

Any tips? Frequent reminders and threats don’t work for more than 30 seconds and nothing has made a dent in it overall.

[Anonymous]

I think loud people are just loud people. My DD has classmates who are loud with loud parents, just like your DS and DH. There are some of those at our swim club, too- when they leave the pool for the day I can feel all the air rush back onto the pool deck. Not really, but that's how it feels as a quiet person. I really react to being around loud people and feel a huge sense of relief when the party or event we're at together is over.

I think loud people don't process noise the way quiet people do. It's like people who don't like the taste of cilantro! You can't change what's innate. Sometimes you can get them to respect the need for things to be at a lower volume in certain contexts, but even then they'll loud walk across the floor or bang something on a counter and you'll remember: loud person.

[Anonymous]

My kid isn't very loud but one of her friends is. What her parents do that seems to help is call out a number like she has a volume dial. She is apparently supposed to aim for 4, so they'll say "seven!" and she recalibrates.

They have to do this a lot, but she's only 4 so that's to be expected. But it turns it into a little game and she's not getting just, yelled at all the time for her natural inclination to project.

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old is like this. None of the rest of us are loud.

I take treats away when he refuses to dial it down. Candy is his currency so he usually complies.

[Anonymous]

I was a loud kid. Turned out my ears clogged every single year at a certain time of year. I got in trouble all the time for being loud at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old is like this. None of the rest of us are loud.

I take treats away when he refuses to dial it down. Candy is his currency so he usually complies.

And you've checked his hearing?

[Anonymous]

Assuming no hearing issues, does giving him outlets for being suuuuper loud (playground choir sports games etc) help at all? My kid is super high energy and will default to being an extremely loud ball of chaos especially after a long day of being good at school and when egged on by siblings but is much more willing and able to calibrate if I get us outside and don’t put restrictions on shrieing and running for a solid hour.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this but my autistic kid was loud long before we got the diagnosis. Still is today as an adult. I have to sometimes give hand signals for her to dial down the volume in a public place.