Probably have to block mother

[Anonymous]

Lifetime of abuse that’s improved marginally in the last few years. Overall have always had the sense that mother is jealous of me/competitive with me - she’s never really celebrated me, my life, or my accomplishments - she’ll make fun of me when in the company of other people etc. She and an abusive ex-boyfriend once berated me for trying to leave him (this man attempted to kill me). Called me fat as a kid/teen - I wasn’t (once sent me to bed without dinner at age ten because I’d eaten too many cookies). Chose my stepfather over me etc. Just truly has never been a mother, although as mentioned our relationship has recently evolved but signs of her true self are showing due to a truly minor misunderstanding.

Anyway I think it might be the straw that broke the camel’s back. It is a tragedy. I’ve already been estranged from my father, who sexually abused me as a child, for several years. I’m only in my thirties and have three young kids. But every time we interact, especially in person, I’m left feeling stressed, confused, unheard, and generally disrespected.

I’m just kind of heartbroken, mostly for the child version of me, who never knew safety, protection, or unconditional love.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I haven't suffered to the degree you have, but my mother is emotionally abusive. I also have 3 kids, and they're old enough that they see for themselves that she is unkind, at best.

Block her. Enjoy your children and the safety you and they will have.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’ve been through this. The advice I’ve seen for decisions to block / estrange is to add “for now” to your thinking if you’re overwhelmed by the feeling / thoughts of never speaking to her again. So “I’m blocking my mom, for now. I don’t know what will happen in the future and I can always change my decision if it feels like resuming contact make sense. This makes sense for now.”