How do you tell a DC native from a transplant?
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Anonymous
| Wondering how you can tell or spot the differences? |
Anonymous
| Our lingo! |
Anonymous
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There is new app to detect invasive humanoid transplants into DMV: “XPhobia”
It uses AI to analyze genetic differences, linguistic variations, and distinct personality patterns between DC natives and those who moved here as adults. As long as you can grab DNA off a beer can or wine glass of anyone you believe may be an invasive DC transplant, the XPhobia app can confirm or deny your suspicions. |
Anonymous
| A native can take a shortcut through the Park without getting lost or looking at a map |
Anonymous
| DC is too generic, so there aren’t any real characteristics that distinguish DC people from others. |
Anonymous
| There is a DMV-Baltimore accent. |
Anonymous
| Say "Surrender Dorothy to Cool Disco Dan at Dave Thomas Circle with mumbo sauce on the next street sweeping day" and see how they react. |
Anonymous
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DC natives are provincials. Any adults who claim this status will tell you they preferred the sleepy Southern town and liked to pretend it was a real city.
If you listen to white WW2 vets born and raised in DC, they had very Southern accents. This really surprised me when I recorded their oral histories years ago. |
Anonymous
I am a long time transplant and I understood that. Maybe after 35 years, I am finally a native. |
Anonymous
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1. Everyone not from the DMV thinks you mumble when you talk, but you and your friends understand each other perfectly 2. you don't understand when people say they can buy a nice house for 250k 3. "5 miles" can mean a place is 20 min away or 1 hour and 20 minutes, depending on time of day 4. You remember when parking on the Mall was free 5. It is likely that you are a first generation DMV person, growing up in the area with parents from outside the area. However, you consider yourself a heritage Midwesterner. Although when you go back to Illinois for Thanksgiving, you don't quite understand how people can live in that winter, every winter. 6. What, the kids at your K-12 school didn't speak 43 languages at home? 7. At least 50% of your friends parents are lawyers, or were lawyers. They are universally miserable, and yet 50% of your friends are now lawyers, too. So much for all those high GPAs and test scores, some people never learn. 8. Snow is a beautiful thing that shuts down the whole world. No one should ever been expected to function when snow is falling, or could be reasonably expected to fall within the next 24 to 48 hours. 9. As an adult, the chance of running into friends from HS at the supermarket or whatever is infinitesimal, because everyone moves away (the Heritage Midwesterner often returns to the nest). It should not be such a surprise, because you don't live there anymore, either. 10. It will always be National Airport |
Anonymous
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National Airport
Cabin John Bridge Mumbo sauce Gogo music We never say that DC is full of transplants, and we get used to having friends move away. If someone doesn't say the federal agency where they work, chances are it's the CIA. |
Anonymous
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The DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles, not the DC area.
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Anonymous
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no style whatsoever - often wearing the kind of comfy shoes you see nurses wearing (but not in white) and lots of horrible black yoga pants
large of arse hair is either badly dyed too dark or very expensively blonde drives a Range Rover / BMW / Mercedes |
Anonymous
| ^^ these are descriptions of DC natives. I posted too soon. |
Anonymous
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When you know how to navigate the streets named after states.
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