Smart but not motivated

[Anonymous]

My son has an extremely high iq, but has no drive, like none. What are my options? How do I get him to care? He hates the minutiae of school, but that's part of life. He admits that he wants to skate through life. What am I supposed to do?!

[Anonymous]

Let him do mediocre in high school so he learns how to get through, so he doesn’t fail out of college.

[Anonymous]

Minimum wage job at McDonalds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has an extremely high iq, but has no drive, like none. What are my options? How do I get him to care? He hates the minutiae of school, but that's part of life. He admits that he wants to skate through life. What am I supposed to do?!

That's a common issue. Let him see a therapist, enjoy his extracurriculars, build social circle and just do good enough in school to graduate. There are many paths to success, just one life to live. If he is smart, he'll get to better schools and career through community college.

[Anonymous]

Don't ruin his mental health and don't ruin your relationship with him, trying to push him to live up to whatever potential you think he has.

[Anonymous]

How old? I have a friend who has a very gifted son). Very bright and smart and can pursue whatever he wants in life in both academic or sports but he chose nothing. No motivation to do well, he just accepts the result of what we (Cs or Ds) or got cut from the team and just move on.

He may have ADHD (never get tested as parents didn’t want to), photographic memory, math and science come super easy for him. I think there are some traits shared among high iq people. He particularly doesn’t feel like he has to/ should have to work hard on anything and he Will be fine with whatveee life gives him.

[Anonymous]

How old is he?

What does skating through life mean for him in detail? Can he articulate a plan and is it realistic?

[Anonymous]

You can’t make someone care. This isn’t something to make him go to therapy over. That’s the worst advice on here. I hated school and so did my husband. We got through and even my got through college when we realized the value of the degree n we never liked it. Both of us have very successful careers and like our jobs. We don’t mind hard work when it’s something we like. There isn’t anything my school loving mother could have done differently to make me want to do well or care back then.

[Anonymous]

^please excuse all of the typos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t make someone care. This isn’t something to make him go to therapy over. That’s the worst advice on here. I hated school and so did my husband. We got through and even my got through college when we realized the value of the degree n we never liked it. Both of us have very successful careers and like our jobs. We don’t mind hard work when it’s something we like. There isn’t anything my school loving mother could have done differently to make me want to do well or care back then.

It's awesome that you made it to college. That is what I want for my son too. But he needs good enough grades to get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t make someone care. This isn’t something to make him go to therapy over. That’s the worst advice on here. I hated school and so did my husband. We got through and even my got through college when we realized the value of the degree n we never liked it. Both of us have very successful careers and like our jobs. We don’t mind hard work when it’s something we like. There isn’t anything my school loving mother could have done differently to make me want to do well or care back then.

What do you mean by successful career? How do you define success?

[Anonymous]

"Smart but not motivated" describes more than 90% of poor performing kids. They are all pretty smart but they don't try. Your kid is one of them.

[Anonymous]

I was just like this. I graduated college with a 2.7 and was perfectly content with that gpa. Things clicked when I started working and I’ve managed to do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Smart but not motivated" describes more than 90% of poor performing kids. They are all pretty smart but they don't try. Your kid is one of them.

This. Hard work is a significant factor in any tutor of success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him do mediocre in high school so he learns how to get through, so he doesn’t fail out of college.

How does not making an effort in highschool prevent failing out of college??