extended nursing

[Anonymous]

If you continued to nurse your toddler after the age of two how did it go and when did you stop? Did your child have any delays (speech), dental issues or attachment issues?

DD is 3.5 and still nursing nightly before bed. We stopped nursing on demand at 18 months and I tried to totally wean at 2 but she ended up very sick and hospitalized for two weeks literally a few days later and so we I continued nursing. By 3 it dropped down to right before bed, she was fine without it for nap.

The few nights I have been away she falls asleep fine without nursing but if I am home it is part of the routine. I’m ok with it but DH has concerns about development.

At the present moment she has no speech delay. My biggest concern was cavities so we have been brushing teeth after nursing and if she happens to fall asleep I’ll use Xylitol teeth wipes. No cavities or potential cavities so far. Socially she seems to be doing well. She goes to preschool 5 days a week and all her teachers say she’s well adjusted. She dropped naps recently as well which teachers said is normal around this age.

She is still more attached to me than DH. I’m not sure if this is because she still nurses or it’s because I have a shorter work schedule and tend to be the primary parent.

I know complete weaning is in the near future but I’m not sure when. 4th birthday? Now? Whenever she decides? I get a different answer from everyone.

Does anyone here have experience with extended nursing? I’d love some feedback.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. If both you and she want to continue, then continue. Since she doesn’t need it to fall asleep, you’ll hopefully have an easy time weaning whenever it happens. Enjoy these sweet days! P.S. Extended nursing is way more common than most people believe, largely because of the social stigma where people don’t talk about it.

[Anonymous]

It's fine as far as your concerns for all of the reasons you mentioned. Your husband can look at the anthropological research for himself and any reasonable person would arrive at the conclusion that extended nursing actually makes sense from a biological (and psychological/attachment) perspective.

Don't let society and patriarchal views override your instincts as her mother. She's more attached to you because you are her mom. You are her primary person. The nursing is irrelevant because in your family, you would still be the primary maternal figure in her life.

[Anonymous]

We weaned a little after age 3. DS had no speech or teeth issues. There are so many ways to wean. I chose to lead it because it was no longer comfortable. FWIW, he’s just as cuddly and attached as when he was nursing

[Anonymous]

It’s very sweet. It’s ok for you to decide when to wean.

[Anonymous]

3.5 is a little too old you need to weed him off of nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3.5 is a little too old you need to weed him off of nursing.

- incorrect
- she
- wean

[Anonymous]

Do what feels right for you. These moments are so very short, but you are building the groundwork for closeness as you transition out of this stage. It sounds like she is well adjusted and thriving. I know my kids (ages 3-10) like to snuggle and reconnect at the end of the day!

[Anonymous]

If you continued to nurse your toddler after the age of two how did it go and when did you stop? Did your child have any delays (speech), dental issues or attachment issues?

It went just fine. We stopped when each was around 3. One stopped around three months after turning three, and one stopped within a month of 3. No delays or attachment issues. We also coslept until each was 4 or 5. They're very securely attached to us and just as independent as their friends who were formula fed and slept in a crib in their own bedroom from day one. There are tons of different ways to raise children and have them all come out just fine and you can't tell a difference once they meet each other at college.

[Anonymous]

I stopped with both around 2.5, no issues. I would’ve continued with my second (it was the pandemic) but he was done.

[Anonymous]

My first one stopped at 18m (I was pregnant and I think my milk dried up), my second at 3years, and my 3rd is still nursing at 2. No issues with anything. In fact, my 2nd and 3rd children are the most independent. I like nursing my 3rd because it's the only time she'll snuggle and be calm.

I though that breastmilk isn't bad for their teeth like cow's milk? We brush teeth and then nurse. Either way, none of my kids have had any cavities yet.

I'm not crunchy in any way, but I always felt like I should let the kid decide when they want to stop nursing. 3.5 would be my limit though.

[Anonymous]

Both my kids weaned around 3.5. In both cases, I decided to move things along and made myself scarce at bedtime for about a week or so and then we tweaked the bedtime routine for a while so that we didn't lay down in DC's bed. After a few weeks we were able to go back to the old routines without nursing.

My oldest kid had a lisp until speech therapy at age 7. No other developmental issues whatsoever for either mid. No cavities for either until high school when both had 1 or 2. Neither kid needed braces. Both kids had/have good relationships with DH and me. My youngest was particularly attached to me as a little one but always had a good attachment to DH, too.

Extended nursing was great for us, but at 3.5 I was ready to stop. I would not change a thing. Kids are early 20s now, both doing well on their chosen paths and seem to be very well adjusted (though I don't actually think that has anything to do with nursing.) I asked them once a few years ago if they remembered nursing. Both said no.

[Anonymous]

I nursed my LO until their 4th birthday. They would have continued, but I was at my limit. No cavities and no developmental issues.

Do what works best for you and your family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first one stopped at 18m (I was pregnant and I think my milk dried up), my second at 3years, and my 3rd is still nursing at 2. No issues with anything. In fact, my 2nd and 3rd children are the most independent. I like nursing my 3rd because it's the only time she'll snuggle and be calm.

I though that breastmilk isn't bad for their teeth like cow's milk? We brush teeth and then nurse. Either way, none of my kids have had any cavities yet.

I'm not crunchy in any way, but I always felt like I should let the kid decide when they want to stop nursing. 3.5 would be my limit though.

I learned the hard way that breast milk can be as bad as cow’s milk. My older ones nursed past 2 and had no issues, but my youngest ended up with cavities on his top four front teeth. He nursed overnight and we were living in an area without fluoride in the water.

I was so embarrassed and upset it happened. The dentist 100% blamed the overnight on demand nursing. OP is doing the right thing by using wipes after nursing. I had no idea it could happen with breast milk.

[Anonymous]

I BF most of my kids (5 total) until they were at least 3. One until she was a little past 4th birthday. None of them had a speech delay, and they have never had any cavities or attachment issues.