Do you consider this stalking?

[Anonymous]

A stranger on the street initiates a conversation with you and begin talking, some 20-30 minute conversation. Then you say goodbye and go your separate ways. You start walking home and as you enter your apartment building you see this stranger right behind you. You know the stranger does not live there. The stranger asks for your cell number, and when you give a fake number, they immediately call it.

[Anonymous]

sounds like this person liked you enough after initial conversation to follow you home to ask for your number. instead of giving a fake number, you could have said no when he asked for your number.

I wouldn't consider this stalking. back before OLD, this was how you met people.

[Anonymous]

Stalking? No. Not based on a single incident. Creepy? Heck yes.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

It’ll only become stalking if they return. As of now, it’s just creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sounds like this person liked you enough after initial conversation to follow you home to ask for your number. instead of giving a fake number, you could have said no when he asked for your number.

I wouldn't consider this stalking. back before OLD, this was how you met people.

Men can get extremely nasty if you refuse to give them your number.

Also I always met people at social events and at places like the library. I was never *followed home*. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

I dont think is technically stalking yet because stalking requires repeated behavior. But this is very concerning: the guy started the conversation, then followed you home, with then asked for number and called right away presumably to check that it was the right number. This is very creepy behavior and i would nip it in the bud really quickly, if you ser him again i would tell him to leave you alone and mean it. Creeps and crazies take advantage of the fact that women try to be nice even when they are uncomfortable and you finally say no they act aggressive accusing you of making them believe you liked them by being nice. I would be scared by a person like that

[Anonymous]

Fake number? Weird.

“It was nice chatting, but I’m in a committed relationship.”

Or…

I’m asexual and don’t date.

I’m in a throuple and my partner is very protective.

[Anonymous]

It's not really stalking. But it's scary AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sounds like this person liked you enough after initial conversation to follow you home to ask for your number. instead of giving a fake number, you could have said no when he asked for your number.

I wouldn't consider this stalking. back before OLD, this was how you met people.

Men can get extremely nasty if you refuse to give them your number.

Also I always met people at social events and at places like the library. I was never *followed home*. That's insane.

This. I've been on the receiving end of very scary aggression when I declined to give my number -- so I would always give a fake one.

[Anonymous]

How did he react when your phone didn't ring?

[Anonymous]

You talked to this guy for half an hour - and he wasn't phone number worthy?

What did you talk about?

[Anonymous]

How close were you to home during the 20-30 minute conversation. That is a pretty long conversation with a stranger - you would build a fair amount of rapport. If your apartment building was really close, I can see someone then debating in their head about whether or not to ask you for your number and then talking themselves into it and out of it and then thinking it is now or never and approaching you again as you enter your apartment building nearby.

If they followed you for 10 minutes...that is creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How close were you to home during the 20-30 minute conversation. That is a pretty long conversation with a stranger - you would build a fair amount of rapport. If your apartment building was really close, I can see someone then debating in their head about whether or not to ask you for your number and then talking themselves into it and out of it and then thinking it is now or never and approaching you again as you enter your apartment building nearby.

If they followed you for 10 minutes...that is creepy.

This is the important question. If your apartment building was one block away or less, they may have worked up the courage just after parting and just caught up to you there. If they legit followed you for multiple blocks? I would be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How close were you to home during the 20-30 minute conversation. That is a pretty long conversation with a stranger - you would build a fair amount of rapport. If your apartment building was really close, I can see someone then debating in their head about whether or not to ask you for your number and then talking themselves into it and out of it and then thinking it is now or never and approaching you again as you enter your apartment building nearby.

If they followed you for 10 minutes...that is creepy.

+1. Normally I'd say someone following you home is super creepy, but I'm thrown by the long conversation you had first. I have been followed by men before, but they were not men I knew or who I had interacted with for more than a few moments. They also didn't ultimately stop me for my number -- they were clearly just following me to watch me or maybe find out where I lived or worked.

Also kind of relevant what you talked about and how the conversation felt. If a guy was super creepy, I feel like that would emerge in a 30 minute conversation with him, and if he then followed me home, there would probably be things about the conversation that didn't feel right in the moment and look downright concerning later. But if the conversation was really normal and comfortable (and especially if it was flirtatious and there seemed to be mutual interest), I think the PP is right that they might have just second guessed asking for your number and then finally screwed up the courage right before you went into your building.

Unless your building was a 10 or 20 minute walk away, in which case EVEN if they were just screwing up the courage to talk to you, it crosses a line IMO.