Men that marry much older women
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Anonymous
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My dad is in his mid 40s (had me at a young age) and is marrying a woman in her mid 60s. What are some major disadvantages of a big age gap, especially when the man is much younger. I'm scared my dad will end up alone and heartbroken once his much older wife passes.
And he is not in this relationship for money, both of them are well off but not rich. She is a very nice lady, I'm just worried for my dad. |
Anonymous
| She'll probably outlive him. Or they may die very close in time to one another. Would you have this concern if your dad were marrying a mid-20s woman? |
Anonymous
+1 I don’t see the issue. I would be concerned if the genders were reversed, and the man wanted a nurse with a purse. She will likely outlet him, or live to about the same length of time. I would also be much more concerned if he was marrying a woman that much younger because she would probably leave him. I don’t see an issue with this age gap |
Anonymous
| A 20 year at gap is too much regardless of who’s older or younger. But French President Macron seems to have made it work. |
Anonymous
HAHAHAHA. You're talking to the man's daughter. Who would you be concerned for? Society? |
Anonymous
| Does he ever get to retire with her? |
Anonymous
| A friend of mine did this...he's 47, she's in her early 60s. They are soulmates who happened to be born years apart. |
Anonymous
OP here. I think that's what I'm most worried about. She's going to retire in a few years and he'll still be working. They're just at different places in life. I'm glad he's found someone he really loves but I'm just scared he's going to die alone. Of course I'll be there, but it's just different I feel like. |
Anonymous
| My widowed mother has been dating a man for the past 10 years (neither wants to remarry) who is 15 years her junior. He initially lied and told her they were the same age. My mother is extremely beautiful and looks more than a decade younger. Her mother and both grandmothers lived to be more than 100. It can work. |
Anonymous
Don't criticize, but it's fine to ask questions: "You mentioned Marla is planning to retire in X years. How long to you think you'll work? Do you know how things will work when you're working and she's not?" The answer may be, "No, but we'll figure it out," and if so, you'll just have to let it be. |
Anonymous
No man thinks this. |
Anonymous
| My mother, a widow, is 71, looks no more than 60 and has the energy and spirit of someone no more than 50. She is a marvel! She has been dating a guy in his mid to late 50’s and they really seem the same age. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got married as the age gap doesn’t seem to really exist. |
Anonymous
I find older women are either very vibrant and pleasant or totally worn out (probably by their crappy husbands), almost no in between. Men seem to just age faster all around. |
Anonymous
With regard to retiring together while it’s not 100% the same, you can see that gap in being able to retire together if one person was stay at home parent/kids out the house or if one person was in a career where the retirement age is younger (military, law enforcement etc) and the other is not. As far as dying alone, typically women outlive men - my grandmother is alive and over 100 and my grandfather passed away in his 60’s. The being able to enjoy retirement together is probably where he will feel the age difference but even with that hopefully he is making the most of his free time and time off to pursue those retirement like experiences. |
Anonymous
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Listen, if they actually love each other, for real, that’s rare enough. Don’t get too picky about the age or who’s going to die when etc. that’s all minor details compared to experiencing a real love.
Plenty of January-December relationships are not about love, of course, so in that case, do encouraging him to think twice… but you say she’s a nice lady so it’s probably best to just be outrageously happy for Dad. |