Pgt gender preference

[Anonymous]

I know I'll get raked for this but is it possible anyone else feels this way?

We are waiting for our blast/pgt results and we just really have a preference for girl embryos. We would absolutely love and want any healthy and happy baby. But if we had a mix we would prefer to transfer the girls.

DH has azoospermia and we ended up using a donor. He has mentioned in therapy that he wants a girl who he would attribute more to me. He feels he will love any baby but a boy might be a reminder of he couldn't contribute in this process. He also feels girls might end up looking more like me.

I on the other hand just always thought I'd be a girl mom. The day dream and fantasy of it all during this process always was a girl.

I feel immense guilty in thinking this and I know our clinic will ask do we want to know? And I so wish I could say no. Transfer the healthiest/highest graded one.

[Anonymous]

We really wanted a girl and had one. Looking back, we occasionally think we would have been even happier with a boy. Life is what you make of it. That said, if they give you a choice, take the girl. It’s your life.

[Anonymous]

You have valid reasons for wanting a girl. I can understand your husband’s perspective. No need to feel guilty!

[Anonymous]

Well, you can figure out for yourself the usual caveats regarding gender selection: you don’t know if you’ll get the “kind” of girl you may be imagining.

But I say: you guys have been through enough. If there’s any advantage to the whole miserable process, grab it. You didn’t choose this process. Might as well take the good with the bad. Get your girl.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. We are still unsure if we will need another round of ER. But are hopeful for news of some pgt girls this weekend

[Anonymous]

It is VERY common to pick the embryo’s sex when you have good quality embryos of both. When infertility takes so much control and decision making out of your hands, no shame in taking a bit back if you can.

[Anonymous]

We have a daughter and wanted another girl for our next baby.

We had to do IVF and we’re very blessed to have 5 genetically normal embryos. However, they were also rated by the embryologist prior to testing, and so among the 5, the order of best rank was B B G B G.

My husband and I decided to go in the order of the highest graded embryos once we saw those results. I felt sad at first but I am now (newly) pregnant with the first boy, and I am already over my initial disappointment.

Just food for thought! But I agree with other posters you shouldn’t feel guilty about what you end up choosing.

[Anonymous]

It's psychologically unhealthy to start your child's life by trying to control their identity. It sets the wrong tone for the whole relationship.

[Anonymous]

If you want a baby you go with the best blast and not just the gender. I say this as someone whose lost 2 boys so far. We didn't have a choice but we went into the process understanding that our desired gender may not happen. Healthy baby first.

[Anonymous]

We had a number of PGT normal embryos and chose the gender we wanted. No guilt

[Anonymous]

Regardless your husband needs some serious therapy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless your husband needs some serious therapy, OP.

Oh knock it off. She said her husband is already in therapy, and it's very common for women that use donor eggs to hope their kids have their DH's traits. Infertility is messy and difficult, and donor IVF makes it even more so. OP isn't saying they would love a boy less, or they would discard XY embryos just to get a girl. Just that they have a preference if they have the choice. Kudos to OP's DH for being so open and honest during therapy, and for working on their shared trauma together as a couple.

[Anonymous]

Quick question: why are you doing IVF if your husband is the one with the fertility issue? Do you have issues as well? Or is it just about picking your potential child’s gender?

If I had no issues on my end and was using a sperm donor, I would go the iui route and avoid the hassle and pain of IVF. Please don’t do IVF just so you can have a girl. It’s not worth it.

You cannot control what kind of child you’ll get. And what you think you want right now in the throes of infertility might not be what will make you happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'll get raked for this but is it possible anyone else feels this way?

We are waiting for our blast/pgt results and we just really have a preference for girl embryos. We would absolutely love and want any healthy and happy baby. But if we had a mix we would prefer to transfer the girls.

DH has azoospermia and we ended up using a donor. He has mentioned in therapy that he wants a girl who he would attribute more to me. He feels he will love any baby but a boy might be a reminder of he couldn't contribute in this process. He also feels girls might end up looking more like me.

I on the other hand just always thought I'd be a girl mom. The day dream and fantasy of it all during this process always was a girl.

I feel immense guilty in thinking this and I know our clinic will ask do we want to know? And I so wish I could say no. Transfer the healthiest/highest graded one.

Deff no boys!

[Anonymous]

As someone who did lots of IVF to finally get pregnant with my DS, I’d really recommend transferring the highest grade embryo. This process is fraught and the first transfer may not work, so I would just want to give myself the best possible chance of getting pregnant with a healthy child. I do understand—I wanted a girl too—but I love my DS more than anything and wouldn’t trade him for anything. And, he looks like me/my father, and nothing like my DH so no guarantees about who a kid will look like! Good luck to you!