Decoding Common Dating Phrases
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Anonymous
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Here are a few dating phrases I've encountered. These "translations" aren't universally accurate, but they often come pretty close to the truth!
"I like to take things slow" means "You are nice, but I'm trying to be with someone hotter than you." "I think I just need some time alone" means "I met someone hotter than you." "I'm just not ready to date" means either "You are nice, but I'm trying to be with someone hotter than you" or "I met someone hotter than you." "I met someone else" means either "I met someone hotter than you" or "You are so unappealing I can't really imagine being with you at this point, even if I have to be alone for a while." Hearing these phrases can be very demoralizing. Saying them isn't so bad. |
Anonymous
| I mean, I would (and have) said most of these things and it doesn't mean what you say. It just means I don't feel any chemistry or connection. It doesn't mean I have met anyone else, or that you aren't attractive. Personality matters so much, at least to me. |
Anonymous
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"I like to take things slow" = I want to get some free restaurant meals and entertainment tickets out of you, but I have no intention of sleeping with you.
Response? "That's fine" Set up another date which you do not intend to got out on and cancel at last minute. |
Anonymous
You are taking this too seriously and are way too insecure about your looks. Just move on to the next and don’t over analyze everything. |
Anonymous
| I've said these things to a super hot guy. I don't want to date. Period. |
Anonymous
Yep, I've said these to people who were hot but full of red flags or where there was no chemistry |
Anonymous
| Here’s a question u may want to ask yourself, if they didn’t say those things would they really tick all your boxes? I’m sensitive to rejection and it’s easy to stop and ask do you even want to know *them further. |
Anonymous
Is this even that much of a real thing, though? Because I've heard countless men talk about this, about women using them for expensive dinners, or whatever. But there is no meal or entertainment that is worth enduring a shitty date (or even making the effort to be nice to a boring one) in my book, and I am pretty sure most women feel this way. Better to have a bowl of soup and some crackers at home in front of Netflix than, oh, I don't know, After8 DC and a show at the Birchmere with someone I don't like. And I think most women feel as I do. I think it more likely that what happens, on the regular, is that men get a date with someone out of their league and want sex (or even a commitment) immediately and so try to impress with an expensive date -- and then their ego needs to blame the woman's lack of interest on her looking for "free restaurant meals and entertainment tickets" when really the woman was looking, as most of us are, to make a real love connection, but they instead figured out the guy was gross and got the hell out of there. |
Anonymous
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From OLD profiles:
"Seeking a man who will treat me like the princess I am" = All my exes were abusive and I gravitate towards that type. "Not looking for hookups" = Most of the people I met on OLD were hookups, and I'm trying to change my behavior. (multiple long paragraphs detailing everything she wants) = I'm high maintenance. |
Anonymous
| There may not actually be someone hotter than you in the picture, but she wants to keep you in reserve while she’s shopping around. |
Anonymous
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“I’m not high maintenance” = I AM high maintenance, & I know it because 10 prior boyfriends dumped me & told me it was because I was high maintenance, but you seem stupid enough to be fooled by my self-serving claim to not be high maintenance
“I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last man on Earth” = I WOULD go out with you, but it would only be under the circumstances that every other male on Earth had just died “Didn’t I see you at the climate change protest?” = Women hate me & I’m so lonely I will try ANYTHING to get some physical contact |
Anonymous
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This is a very insecure take on this.
When I have wanted to take things slow, it meant that I found the person to be an actual keeper and I didn't want to F it up by sleeping with them early, in case they would judge me for sleeping with them early. The next two mean they are not into you, full stop. The last one is true. They met someone else who has more in common with them. Be glad they told you up front, vs stringing you along and cheating. |
Anonymous
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Looking for a woman who is adventurous = I want to have a threesome
I like to have fun = I want to go out all the time, don't count on me for anything serious good dresser = snob, social climber I will treat you like a lady = the woman should know her place anything followed by "lol" = I am insecure I am looking for "the one" = I am not looking for "the one" |
Anonymous
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“I didn’t feel a spark” from a man = you didn’t sleep with me fast enough, moving onto someone who will
“I didn’t feel a spark” from a woman = I’m not at all physically attracted to you in the slightest, but I feel bad because you seem great in every other aspect but I just can’t see myself ever sleeping with you |
Anonymous
It doesn't have to be about the hotter alternative for every person. They may want something else, someone more serious, more fun, more kind, more educated, more successful, more stable family background, different goals etc etc |