How to support a family after a death?

[Anonymous]

Is there something I could do or send to a family grieving a loss? My sister said to stop by with meals, but I’m not the best cook. Maybe I could send a gift card to Door Dash or Uber Eats to help with meals? Or offer help in some other way? Send flowers or donate if they have a charity? This is a family we know, but not all that well. I’m just struggling to come up with ideas.

[Anonymous]

You can drop off a dozen bagels and some cream cheese. When my grandma died, my dad's close family friend gave us a tub of fancy biscotti.

[Anonymous]

Even dropping off take out or groceries would help.

[Anonymous]

Either send a nice card with a personal message and gift card to a local restaurant the delivers.

Or wait a month or so, and send food. Usually right after a death, people are overwhelmed with food. Once life moves on, and the adrenaline rush of dealing with all the logistics, that's when the grief really hits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there something I could do or send to a family grieving a loss? My sister said to stop by with meals, but I’m not the best cook. Maybe I could send a gift card to Door Dash or Uber Eats to help with meals? Or offer help in some other way? Send flowers or donate if they have a charity? This is a family we know, but not all that well. I’m just struggling to come up with ideas.

Door dash or Uber Eats are both good ideas, or a giftcard to their favorite local restaurant.

I got a lot of plants and flowers after my parent died. They're fine for people you don't know well enough but want them to know you're thinking of them.

Skip edible arrangements: they're a huge pita.

[Anonymous]

My dad passed away who had been living with us since pretty much DS was born. We got a ton of meals, super appreciated but our freezer was stocked a long time. One gift that will pretty much always stick out in my memory was basically a gift basket for DS (who was 6 at the time). I'm not saying he was neglected but between my grief and DH trying to keep everything running, we weren't exactly the most involved parents the first few weeks. A family friend made a gift basket for DS with little treats, a great book about grieving, and some surprise bag toys. She had made us a little gift basket as well, but it always meant a lot to me that she singled out DS.

So maybe if there are kids involved you could put together a little gift basket for them?

[Anonymous]

I discovered I was allergic to flowers after my Dad died. I had to take them outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad passed away who had been living with us since pretty much DS was born. We got a ton of meals, super appreciated but our freezer was stocked a long time. One gift that will pretty much always stick out in my memory was basically a gift basket for DS (who was 6 at the time). I'm not saying he was neglected but between my grief and DH trying to keep everything running, we weren't exactly the most involved parents the first few weeks. A family friend made a gift basket for DS with little treats, a great book about grieving, and some surprise bag toys. She had made us a little gift basket as well, but it always meant a lot to me that she singled out DS.

So maybe if there are kids involved you could put together a little gift basket for them?

This is so thoughtful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I discovered I was allergic to flowers after my Dad died. I had to take them outside.

OMG, those white lilies. We had to do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on who died. Was it a parent with young kids, or was it an 85 year old grandmother in a nursing home? Was it sudden or expected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on who died. Was it a parent with young kids, or was it an 85 year old grandmother in a nursing home? Was it sudden or expected?

+1

And is there already a community meal train?

[Anonymous]

Food and gift cards for food were nice (especially a month later), but I most appreciated the heartfelt notes and friends who reached out and let me talk about the person or talk about other things for a break.

[Anonymous]

Can't go wrong with the DoorDash gift card (or gift card to a local restaurant with takeout), especially for a family you don't know well.

[Anonymous]

When my friend's husband died unexpectedly - six weeks before her baby was due - I took over a bunch of things I knew she liked as well as just basic necessities. I knew she couldn't get herself to a store. So, basic things like her favorite bottled water, tp, tissues, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't go wrong with the DoorDash gift card (or gift card to a local restaurant with takeout), especially for a family you don't know well.

This. Always well-received and no expiration date.