2 year old screaming and crying all night…what gives?

[Anonymous]

I’m at my wits end. Our DS2 has a strong willed temper and in general has bouts of tantrums and screaming when he doesn’t get what he wants. He recently started this up at night. He doesn’t like sleeping in his bed and we’ve established a terrible cosleeping habit. He sleeps on top of me, legs in my DH side, just wild. He now wakes up continuously screaming and crying. I am certain there is nothing wrong with him. He will not stay in his bed, will get up and open his door and leave the room and come into ours. Even if he sleeps with us, he kicks and screams. I am exhausted. What can I do about this? The only restraint I have is to literally lock him in his bedroom. Nothing works.

[Anonymous]

You silently walk him back to his bedroom every single time he comes in

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason you didn’t sleep train while he was still in a crib? No sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Does he have an ear infection that hurts more when he lies down?

[Anonymous]

Let him sleep in your room on his own little mattress on the floor. That's what my aunt did with her four terrible sleeping sons. They are now successful adults.

[Anonymous]

Ear infection? One of my kids’ only symptom of ear infection is ensuring I’m not allowed to sleep while he has them. It’s terrible. The other possibility (for which they are sadly not antibiotics) is night terrors and since you’re already cosleeping that’s a hard one to solve. What does he say is the problem? I realize he’s two but does he give *any* hints as to what’s going on?

For a temporary solution can you move him to a full size mattress on the floor of his room and take turns with DH who sleeps there with him? Obviously this is not ideal or long term but at least you guys would get a full night’s sleep every other night.

[Anonymous]

If he's waking up screaming and crying, he's not having a tantrum because he's not getting what he wants -- something is wrong. I couldn't begin to guess what, based on what you've written, but start with the basics. Sleep begets sleep, so is he overtired? Does he nap? What time does he go to sleep and wake up?

[Anonymous]

Ear infection, teething, acid reflux ...all hurt more when lying down and going to sleep.

[Anonymous]

To help you with "doesn't get what he wants...." always offer a limited choice. Not "what do you want for snack?" Instead, "what do you want for snack? We have applesauce and crackers." "Do you want Spiderman or Frozen PJs?"

[Anonymous]

ear infection + molars

[Anonymous]

Both my kids were still in cribs and sleep sacks at 2. Did you switch to a big kid bed? If so and he wasn't getting out of the crib, can you revert back to a crib?

[Anonymous]

The fact that he’s waking screaming even in bed with you should ring your alarm bells that he’s not misbehaving, he is in pain. Investigate teething, ear infections, sleep apnea, etc. Your reaction that he’s being bad is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You silently walk him back to his bedroom every single time he comes in

+1

Also, you may have to lock the door. It's worth discussing with your pediatrician if it's that bad - and the poor kid is likely exhausted, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m at my wits end. Our DS2 has a strong willed temper and in general has bouts of tantrums and screaming when he doesn’t get what he wants. He recently started this up at night. He doesn’t like sleeping in his bed and we’ve established a terrible cosleeping habit. He sleeps on top of me, legs in my DH side, just wild. He now wakes up continuously screaming and crying. I am certain there is nothing wrong with him. He will not stay in his bed, will get up and open his door and leave the room and come into ours. Even if he sleeps with us, he kicks and screams. I am exhausted. What can I do about this? The only restraint I have is to literally lock him in his bedroom. Nothing works.

Have you considered there is legitmately something causing him pain or are you just dug in on this idea that you have a crap kid?

[Anonymous]

First, consider giving him advil before bed to see if that helps. Kids can't express that they are in pain. It could be ears, it could be teeth.

2 year old are nuts, but they are also very little children. He is not being bad, he is having a hard time.

Next, yes make his room a "crib". Make it completely safe for him to roam around on his own. Secure all furniture or remove it. Leave only a few toys of books (quiet ones!) and then find a way to secure the door. When it's bed time, it's bed time. The door closes and is locked. You can do whatever type of "check" on him schedule that you need, but do not allow him to roam the house or sleep in your bed. It will be brutal the first few nights, but he will eventually settle down. If that doesn't work, I'd hire a sleep consultant.