If you have three kids with uneven spacing, what is it like?

[Anonymous]

I want a third but that baby would be a further distance from the middle than the first two are. First two are two years apart. Next two would be 3-3.5.

If you have this dynamic, what is it like? Pros/cons? My boys are sooooo close and are best friends, ages 2 and 4 currently. If it's a girl plus a bigger gap, I wonder if they'll still be close siblings?

I'm also curious about your experience of this gap as a mother. Was it nice to give your body a break, or was it tough to get back into pregnancy and baby mode? What about having a newborn in the house with a 3 and 5 year old?

[Anonymous]

Our kids at one point were 16, 13, 4 and 1. I love that the older two are very close and the younger two are very close. I love that the oldest was at college Facetiming with his younger sisters and they did homework and coloring together.

The older kids did not really love when the younger ones were around 2 - very loud and destructive and overall annoying with a few sweet moments.

I had the last two in my late 20's and early 30's so was mature enough to be very purposeful about getting my body ready for a pregnancy, and staying active through it and recovery from it.

[Anonymous]

I would hardly call that uneven - we have this precise spacing and it’s been great. First two are 25 months apart and the baby followed 36 months later

The main issue was that kinder/public elementary school was not at all set up to bring infants to stuff. Toddlers yes but not infants. But that was only a slight annoyance. The other tough part is remembering that the third is young - he does well keeping up but we forget to make allowances sometimes.

We spaced them this way so I would have enough leave at work and wouldn’t have three in full time daycare at a time.

[Anonymous]

They're very close with a 4 year gap. Both when they were younger and now that they're older. I also have another set DD2 and DS2 who are 2 years apart and best friends, too. They've been inseparable since DD2 was born.

[Anonymous]

3 kids under 5 isn’t a big gap. Lol.

[Anonymous]

This is the gap I have. Agree with the comment about elementary not being great for having a little sib in tow.

[Anonymous]

My older two are OBSESSED with the youngest. They (one girl, one boy) absolutely ADORE him, it’s rather sweet

[Anonymous]

I have this exact gap. I don’t think of it as a big age gap.

I have three boys. They are incredibly close. All three are in elementary right now for this one year. It’s the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 kids under 5 isn’t a big gap. Lol.

Agree. My older two are 29 months apart and my youngest is 21 months behind my second, so also three under 5. We have three girls and they are very close. You’ll probably see the oldest wanting to do their own thing and the younger two getting closer, but very much personality and gender driven.

[Anonymous]

Girl that's not a huge gap at all. Most friends of mine with 3 have a bigger gap between last and middle kid - it's basically what happens if unplanned or you realize you miss another baby . One of my friends actually had the difference between her last and middle of a whopping 10 years!!!! So there. And her first were 2 girls about 2 1/2 yrs apart. Her girls adore little bro and help out it's very cute. My kids when at 10 and 12 wanted a new baby so there. I'd never do it but with kids I think it's fine. Family is family no matter what age. It's never the right time and life happens. There's joys at every age and knowing what comes ahead is awesome

[Anonymous]

I have 3 daughters. The older two are 27 months apart and the baby is 4 years younger than our middle. That spacing was partially the result of losses between our second and third, but I’ve liked the larger gap. Our daughters were 4 and 6 when the baby was born last year, and she feels like the whole family’s baby. It’s been nice to have only one in diapers and our older girls love helping their little sister. But I also liked the 2-year gap with our older girls so I’d say all spacing has pros and cons.

[Anonymous]

Like the PP said, all spacing has pros and cons.

One pro for you would be that everyone will probably adore and enjoy “the baby.” Our baby is now 3 but her older siblings still dote on her like a baby. It’s really sweet.

Another pro is that your 5 year old will be somewhat of a help - at least more of a help than they were when your second was born!

I think a last pro is that the older kids are still young enough that they will play with and engage with their younger sibling in a way they probably wouldn’t if they were a few years older. My best friend had a brother 7 years older than her and a brother 7 years younger than her, and it really felt like a family with three only children.

[Anonymous]

One more BTDT comment - this spacing will be easier if you and your partner are ok dividing and conquering. The older two are going to begin wanting to do experiences (movie theaters, amusement parks, etc… just stuff geared to older kids) and your youngest will be a pain to bring along. My DH takes our older kids a lot while I stay with our baby (now 3) as opposed to dragging her along. It works out great for us but does mean we are divided up a lot on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Me clicking on this thread with a 6 and then 3 year age gap like 😑

[Anonymous]

My youngest is 5 years younger than mh older two. Older two were 2 years apart. I absolutely loved having a baby when older two were in elementary school. I got to stay home and spend quality time with the baby when older kids were in school. Then I focused on the big kids and their activities after school.

Now I have a kid in elementary, middle and high school. All 3 kids have afternoon activities and we have a lot of conflicts. When kids get older, you don’t have control of sports practice schedules and games and often don’t get notice of changes until the week of. This may just be an older kid norm.

Uber teen just started and my 14yo took an Uber for the first time last week. We carpool a lot.