Would you say anything about boy bothering DD

[Anonymous]

A boy in my daughter’s class keeps bothering DD. He tells her that he loves her and is her boyfriend. He will chase her during recess and it prevents her from being able to play with other friends. The kids are 6 years old.

Would you say anything to the teacher?

I know the mother but not well. I do have her contact information.

I remember when I used to be in elementary this boy used to bother me and I still have very negative memories of him almost forty years later. I never told anyone. He used to pull my hair on the bus and bother me all the time.

[Anonymous]

Omg yes absolutely. Why on earth wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

I presume you've told your daughter to ask him to stop and he's still doing it? If so, I would talk to the teacher or guidance counselor. I had an unwanted admirer in elementary school who made me very uncomfortable. After a talk with the guidance counselor, he stopped, to my great relief.

[Anonymous]

Yes, tell the teacher. The mother is irrelevant in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Yes, your daughter needs to know that she has a right to her own bodily independence and she doesn't owe anyone her attention and she has a right not to be harassed. She needs to know that you will stand up for her.

And kindly, the little boy needs to know that we don't act that way to get attention from someone.

[Anonymous]

Go over with your daughter what to tell the teacher. Then follow up with the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Tell the teacher, the counselor and the mother of the kid.

Tell her that if the boy is not controlled then you will escalate to the principal and fill a harassment report using the word "bullying".

Fair warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I presume you've told your daughter to ask him to stop and he's still doing it? If so, I would talk to the teacher or guidance counselor. I had an unwanted admirer in elementary school who made me very uncomfortable. After a talk with the guidance counselor, he stopped, to my great relief.

She needs to tell him to stop not ask him.

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter telling him to stop chasing her, stop getting close to her? Is she reporting to teacher each time as it’s happening? Try that and if no change, contact the teacher yourself.

[Anonymous]

It’s happening at school so you inform the teacher. In kindergarten during nap time the kid next to her kept touching her. I let the teacher know and he moved the boy. I wouldn’t think to tell the mother. And boys chasing girls is common in elementary school and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the teacher, the counselor and the mother of the kid. Tell her that if the boy is not controlled then you will escalate to the principal and fill a harassment report using the word "bullying". Fair warning.

Simmer down, now. These are 6 yr olds. You escalate one step at a time.

[Anonymous]

For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is bothered she needs to tell the kit to stop bothering her. Tell the teacher that she it bothered and that she told the kid tonstop. Then you tell the teacher that your kid told you. We had this happen. The kid got moved to a different table for a while.
Love the framework above.

[Anonymous]

YES. Doing nothing sends the subtle, lifelong message that men have a right to harass her and that she has to tolerate it. I wouldn’t bother the other parent because it is normal, age appropriate behavior. Notify the teacher and teach your daughter to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

Agree with this. If your daughter has told him to stop herself and that doesn’t work, she needs to tell the teacher herself. If that doesn’t work then I would be in touch with the teacher. Give her the opportunity to solve her own problem first though.

I would not contact the mother