Nanny’s car is falling apart

[Anonymous]

We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.

Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.

She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?

We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:

1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

[Anonymous]

She cannot afford it. Give her a raise or provide a car.

[Anonymous]

Buy, lease or rent a car for her to use when she is with the kids. Although she prefers to use her own car, explain that while she is welcome to use it when she is on her own, you are not comfortable with her driving your kids in the old car due to the issues that is has been having. Until she can resolve the maintenance issues, she should use the car you provide when driving the kids.

Options 1 and 4 are non-starters. Unless you are paying for it entirely, you do not get to dictate that an employee must replace their car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

np But you shouldn't have had it as an option! And you put it at number 1. Yes, buy her a nice used car and let her know that you are doing it for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."

If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.

What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?

[Anonymous]

You can’t do 1 or 4. So you either do 2 or 3. Or you fire her and get a new nanny and be sure to address the transportation issue in the new contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.

Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.

She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?

We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:

1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.

What would you do?

OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

And yet you still listed as an option (moreover as option #1 on your list.)

Pp’s reading comprehension is just fine and is correct that you are extremely entitled to even suggest that directing your nanny to buy a new car is within the realm of possible options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."

If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.

What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?

No, then she is on the hook for a car she doesn’t want if OP suddenly decides to fire her. You can’t make her sign a lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.

Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.

She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?

We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:

1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.

What would you do?

OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.

To add, the title and insurance must be in your name, but you may wish to consider deducting something for nanny's portion of insurance coverage payments. You should add her to your insurance, and ask your insurance company what the price differential is for that.

Agree with other PP that you might start looking for a new nanny and stipulate that the new nanny must have and supply reliable transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force her to go into debt and buy a new car! You are ridiculous. If you don't like her car then you BUY a car for her to use. Your entitlement is beyond comprehension.

Your reading comprehension needs some work. I said I didn’t want to tell her to buy a new car, so I’m looking for another solution.

Not to defend first PP but you did say "1. Tell her to buy a new car."

If you buy a used car, who pays the insurance? Under her name or your name. I assume title will be under your name. That may get conflicted.

What if have HER lease a car and you make the payment as long as she is employed by you?

Hard no. OP will fire her and then she will be stuck with an expensive payment? Not reasonable.

But really, what would have happened if the kids had been with her during the key issue? They’d get an Uber. Not a big deal.

The appropriate response is to do nothing. It doesn’t appear the car is unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.

Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.

She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?

We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:

1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.

What would you do?

OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.

Nanny drives her car to work, uses company car for work, drives her car home from work. Not difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We really like our nanny overall. We have two kids, ages 3 and 1. She drives the kids in her own car and we reimburse her for mileage and wear-and-tear. She told us that she prefers to drive her own car and has always done this with her nanny families, even when they have a nicer car available for her to drive. We do have a car but we need it to commute.

Twice in the past 6 months, she’s had issues with her car and we’ve had to call her an Uber to get her home. The first time, she couldn’t get it to start. She ended up having to take it to the shop to get it repaired, but she was vague about what the issue was. The second time, she couldn’t get her key to work, so she couldn’t even get the door open. I’m guessing that there was an issue with the battery in her key, and for some reason we couldn’t get the physical key to work either. She had an extra set of keys at home and has been using those. The AC in her car also doesn’t work when it’s super hot, which is concerning to me.

She has admitted to us that she probably needs a new car, but she’s also said that cars are so expensive right now that she wants to wait. At this point, we’re not comfortable with her continuing to drive our kids in this car. What if the key hadn’t worked while she was out and about with them, and they were stranded there?

We’re trying to come up with a way to resolve this issue. Our contract says that she will drive her own car, but we didn’t think to put anything in it about maintaining the car to a certain standard. Here are the options as far as I can tell:

1. Tell her to buy a new car. I don’t think this is the route I want to go because I don’t think she can afford it and I don’t want to be a mean employer.
2. Lease a car for her to use. This would be annoyingly expensive but doable for us.
3. Buy a used car for her to use while she’s driving our kids around. Again, annoyingly expensive but probably doable.
4. Give her a one-time bonus and tell her the intent is for her to put it toward buying a new car. I don’t know if this would be appropriate or how much we would even give her.

What would you do?

OP, BTDT here. Never give a nanny (or anyone) a new/nice condition car, and expect it to stay in new/nice condition, ever. The new car idea should be off the table, completely. Of the options, buying her a used car, to be used for work only, is the best idea. BUT not sure how you ensure it is not used/abused outside of work, or how she would be expected to get home? Buy what works for your family, and nanny gets no say in what you buy. ie: if you want/need the minivan, so be it.

Nanny drives her car to work, uses company car for work, drives her car home from work. Not difficult.

No, it is not - but some people look for any opportunity to be rude, because their life sucks. It will be okay.