I don't think the lawn service guy was expecting this...

[Anonymous]

They called to try and sell me a shrub care package. I couldn't hold back and told him I actually hate all the shrubs he's talking about and if they die, all the better because I can start over. I thanked him for calling and wished him a good day.

There was a long pause and he said, "So you don't care about those shrubs at all?" Nope, nope I don't.

[Anonymous]

I had one of those spammers text me yesterday saying "Hi Alice, want to meet for coffee tomorrow" and I rage texted back a long message about how they would feel better about themselves if they just made an honest living and stopped scamming senior citizens and other likely targets.

[Anonymous]

That’s actually pretty funny, OP.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were going to say that you and your partner were naked and being intimate in the backyard and he came to cut the grass.

[Anonymous]

A better salesman would have pivoted to offer a removal service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A better salesman would have pivoted to offer a removal service.

This! What a missed opportunity!

[Anonymous]

I had a college-aged guy come to the door and say "These windows look like they're a hundred years old. We can price new vinyl windows for you and save on your energy bill"
This is a Craftsman house with art deco stained glass windows in wood frames. I said "Actually I think I'm happy with these." He didn't have an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you were going to say that you and your partner were naked and being intimate in the backyard and he came to cut the grass.

+1
Now that would have been a cool story.

[Anonymous]

Haha! I love it, OP. Whenever someone like a telemarketer tells me they can save me money, I just baldly say, “I’m not interested in saving money.” They usually sputter and don’t know how to respond.