What do I call this?
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Anonymous
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How would I describe this to a therapist, or possibly a lawyer?
Lately no matter what k say or do, my DH only hears that I am “bossing him around” or “telling him what to do” and will storm off or argue and regardless of which he does, curse about me under his breath. It’s truly awful and feels like a babyish and effective way to get me to not talk. Example: he’s coughing a ton, everyone we know has Covid, and I asked if he was feeling ok and said he should take a Covid test just to be sure. We have a party to go to tonight and my DD starts school this week, so there’s more reason than usual to be careful. But instead he leapt up and said in a loud voice than he was not taking any dumb test and go get off his back, plus a bunch of muttered but obvious obscenities. Second example: he was folding laundry by the TV but left it all on the couch. I asked if he could take it upstairs and he stomped off cursing audibly but under his breath. I’ve told him that the cursing under his breath it isn’t fair and feels like an attempt to punish me for communicating, and that it is also inappropriate in front of our kids. He told me I can’t tell him how to act. Is there a name for how he’s acting or a shorthand to describe this behavior? It feels really specific and maybe a little manipulative or and/or pathological. |
Anonymous
| Why are you trying to diagnose him? What will giving it a name accomplish? He thinks you’re being a nag, you think he’s being an assh*le. There you go. |
Anonymous
I’d like a name for it so I have some shorthand and don’t have to explain it to a 3rd party 30 stupid and exhausting examples that, regardless of the importance or details of the situation, all have in common “I asked him to do something and he blew up and literally cursed at me while walking away”. |
Anonymous
| Just give the listener this post. It’s self-explanatory. No name is required. |
Anonymous
| Not your job to diagnose him. Go to therapy and learn about establishing and enforcing boundaries. |