Potential Vascular Dementia - What should I know?

[Anonymous]

We are looking at a potential vascular dementia diagnosis for my nearly 80-year old father. I would appreciate any insight into how you managed this news with your parent, anything that helped maintain a safe living environment before going to memory care, and what you wish you would have done in hindsight.

My father had a bout with Covid last summer, and I've felt he's been different since then. He initially mentioned the extreme fatigue and brain fog, but his GP suggested that exercise would help him build back his strength. Over the holidays I noticed he seemed unstable, with lots of shuffling, and he tended to repeat his opinions (20+ minutes) without really engaging in conversations. Increasingly, he seems illogical and moody, mentioning difficulty sleeping and getting frustrated with so many things. Chats about what his friends are doing, outings, etc have receded into repeated diatribes. My sibling, who lives near him, confirmed that my father has had some concerning forgetfulness and can't multitask without forgetting what he is doing. He is still able to do daily tasks, and he does get out to socialize.

He recently received a high coronary calcium score, and I was helping him research ways to improve his diet. The symptoms of cognitive impairment stemming from reduced blood flow to the brain explained so much of what I've been seeing. My brother is going to ask to accompany him to the doctor. Given the length of time we have seen confusion seep in and the recent pronounced moody outbursts, I would be surprised if we weren't confronting some form of dementia onset.

What did you find helpful in processing the news within your family? Was there anything unhelpful? I have found some resources, but I would love to hear from someone who has been there.(I'm so sorry to anyone who has.) Although I've had concerns for a year, the shared concerns from my brother has hit me. This is just bloody hard.

[Anonymous]

My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia at age 76 this July when she had a confused episode at her Dr appontment and got sent to the emergency room. The md said she can no longer live alone. I had to put her in assisted living within a week. She didn’t want to stay with me, her only kid, as she finds the grandkids too loud and overwhelming. She acts bonkers all the time and has very bad mean days about 2 days a week. Memory care is in her future based on the nurses statements. It’s been a nightmare and she is rapidly declining.

[Anonymous]

In my experience I haven’t seen the “sun downing” that occurs in Alzheimer’s. But when my mom gets tired or anxious she’s almost incapable of formulating a sentence and she makes no sense. She also has primary progressive aphasia that impacts communication.

My mom has lost the ability to do pretty much anything related to technology. She can’t operate a TV remote control, change the temperature on the thermostat, use a computer and often has difficulty using her key fob to unlock her door.

They become very childlike and you need to learn how to pack your patience. Similar to 50 first dates and a lot of accusations about how you never told them something important (that you’ve told them 100 times over a period of two months). It’s a very scary time for them. In my moms case she is very aware of the changes and the challenges which leads to depression, anxiety, sadness, frustration and anger. Just be there and be supportive. It’s really all you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia at age 76 this July when she had a confused episode at her Dr appontment and got sent to the emergency room. The md said she can no longer live alone. I had to put her in assisted living within a week. She didn’t want to stay with me, her only kid, as she finds the grandkids too loud and overwhelming. She acts bonkers all the time and has very bad mean days about 2 days a week. Memory care is in her future based on the nurses statements. It’s been a nightmare and she is rapidly declining.

NP here. I am sorry.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for sharing your insights. I'm hoping that we have caught it early enough to plan some...and it sounds like aging in place is just not possible. It all seems very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing your insights. I'm hoping that we have caught it early enough to plan some...and it sounds like aging in place is just not possible. It all seems very sad.

It’s very sad. I am so sorry for you and your mom. I am going through the same, and she’s way too young to be going through this. Had a stroke a few weeks ago…

[Anonymous]

Where he will live - next step, should be your main concern. They will have experience with medication and making the patient comfortable.

The Why, What the condition is exactly, or How the condition will look in the future is (kind of) unimportant. Use you and your brother's energy for: taking over finances. moving Dad some place suitable.