Independent living facilities

[Anonymous]

My dad is looking to move into an independent living facility. It does not have the continuum of care, so if his needs advance, we will need to move him to assisted living or skilled nursing. No dementia, just diabetes and general loneliness as he is a widower.

What should we consider? This is our first parent to make this choice.

[Anonymous]

It's a lot easier to move to a place that has it all now then it is to force a move later. Also, when it is time for another move it's not like you can expect your life to be carefree so you can easily help. Most of the emergencies we dealt with came at the worst times. I would encourage him to look at CCRCs. I will be blunt. A lot of elders are snooty about being around those more impaired because it scares them. Usually those with more needs are in a separate area and have their own dining room. We had the issue of an elder who had more needs, but only wanted to be around those who were independent. She complained incessantly about all the people with the same needs she had and how disabled they were, but I digress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a lot easier to move to a place that has it all now then it is to force a move later. Also, when it is time for another move it's not like you can expect your life to be carefree so you can easily help. Most of the emergencies we dealt with came at the worst times. I would encourage him to look at CCRCs. I will be blunt. A lot of elders are snooty about being around those more impaired because it scares them. Usually those with more needs are in a separate area and have their own dining room. We had the issue of an elder who had more needs, but only wanted to be around those who were independent. She complained incessantly about all the people with the same needs she had and how disabled they were, but I digress.

Thanks PP. This is so hard.

[Anonymous]

It is hard, OP. Sending sympathy and good wishes. I would *strongly* suggest steering him towards a continuing care community. If it helps, when you visit as a prospective resident what you see are the independent living segments and all the social activities for those residents. I have friends in their 80s who have moved into CCRCs and fairly rapidly needed more help—one was diagnosed with Parkinson's—and they were very glad not to have to do another move from scratch.

[Anonymous]

My MIL lived in IL. One thing that surprised me was how important the location of the apartment is. She was initially on an upper floor and was miserable. She was able to move to a different apartment on the first floor that had its own entrance and is now happy there.

Having a community is so much better than living alone for some people.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you want a facility that can accommodate different levels of care.

Though my mom is in one of those, and she often grumbles about the people who need higher levels of care - I suspect she finds it a constant reminder of a not-impossible grim future.

She was briefly in a facility where the memory care patients would wander uninvited into her room, and she sure hated that.

[Anonymous]

It depends how old he is. I wish my parent had moved 5 years ago. If she had moved then she could have done IL only for a while. She moved from a big house so it was a big move. I feel like moving to the next level will be much easier than this move was.

Most CC places we looked at had the different levels in different buildings and dining was definitely separate.

Her place has all the levels of care but is a rental model rather than buy in so it’s not a financially guaranteed place like some.

[Anonymous]

Definitely CCRC. You don't want to have to find a new place in the midst of a medical crisis. And there will be a medical crisis at some point.

[Anonymous]

My parents moved to one last year. The assisted living is completely separate but available if needed. The independent living has so many social activities available. It’s fantastic for them. They have no complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is looking to move into an independent living facility. It does not have the continuum of care, so if his needs advance, we will need to move him to assisted living or skilled nursing. No dementia, just diabetes and general loneliness as he is a widower.

What should we consider? This is our first parent to make this choice.

I don't know what area you are in but the costs are astronomical. We are looking into the route of a home nurse which will be cheaper than the $15K a month quotes we are getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is looking to move into an independent living facility. It does not have the continuum of care, so if his needs advance, we will need to move him to assisted living or skilled nursing. No dementia, just diabetes and general loneliness as he is a widower.

What should we consider? This is our first parent to make this choice.

I don't know what area you are in but the costs are astronomical. We are looking into the route of a home nurse which will be cheaper than the $15K a month quotes we are getting.

Where are you looking that the costs are so high? It should be about a third of that for IL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is looking to move into an independent living facility. It does not have the continuum of care, so if his needs advance, we will need to move him to assisted living or skilled nursing. No dementia, just diabetes and general loneliness as he is a widower.

What should we consider? This is our first parent to make this choice.

I don't know what area you are in but the costs are astronomical. We are looking into the route of a home nurse which will be cheaper than the $15K a month quotes we are getting.

Where are you looking that the costs are so high? It should be about a third of that for IL.

That’s insanely high. My parents pay $5,100/ month for IL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents moved to one last year. The assisted living is completely separate but available if needed. The independent living has so many social activities available. It’s fantastic for them. They have no complaints.

This is what I was about to post. The IL folk never see "the seventh floor" residents (said with a whisper). The seventh floor offers higher level of care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is looking to move into an independent living facility. It does not have the continuum of care, so if his needs advance, we will need to move him to assisted living or skilled nursing. No dementia, just diabetes and general loneliness as he is a widower.

What should we consider? This is our first parent to make this choice.

I don't know what area you are in but the costs are astronomical. We are looking into the route of a home nurse which will be cheaper than the $15K a month quotes we are getting.

For independent living? That is unusually high.

[Anonymous]

Does he have financial resources? A place like one of the Erickson facilities could be good for him. We had a family friend in one. It was like a college dorm for seniors. She had her own apartment with a full kitchen, but could eat in the dining room whenever she wanted to. There were loads of activities, a gym, a pool, a library. The doctors came on site. She made alot of friends and did very well there.