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My DS is almost 17 and seems to have major executive function issues. I have been propping him up / reminding him of stuff for years and I worry that this mother-hen stuff has made him worse /more dependent on me. He says not, he says that he'd be in a far worse situation if I hadn't been helping him along the way.
So now I'm facing a major surgery that's going to take me out of the loop for a few months. I am worried sick about my son and what kind of disasters will befall him. I am also wondering if we should have had him tested years ago and got accommodations at school to help take the pressure off. Is it too late to test now? He's just started 11th grade. |
| No, it is not too late - I have many friends who were tested as adults & are grateful to know (I'm in my 50s & it was not commonplace to test for learning issues in our era). |
Thank you for your reply. What sort of diagnoses were they given and subsequent modifications did they make in their lives ? |
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Of course not. My son has had a lot of tests in his life, but he got a neuropsych at 17 so that his diagnoses would be considered current for college accommodations. It turned up a new diagnosis, on top of the ones he already had, and this new one also got him a single room with private bath: ASD. We always knew he was a little sprectrumy, and he was already receiving services and accommodations at school for his ADHD, so we had not thought of getting a formal ASD diagnosis. But turns out, it came in useful.
In your son's case, it appears that if his teachers haven't hinted at any issues before, and you're wondering if you need testing, that his ADHD is mild. I can tell you my son's issues were evident in preschool - no one could miss them. But even mild ADHD could benefit from help at school and in college, so please do that. Hurry, because the process can take time. |
| ^, also, he might benefit from a low dose of stimulant medication, and that can only be had with a formal diagnosis. |
I don't think he has ADHD at all actually, more the spectrum question. |
| If he should need some type of income disability in the future, he will need to have a well documented medical diagnosis. |
That is extreme and unlikely |
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No one needs testing or diagnosis before pursuing lifestyle changes and tools to help with executive functioning.
Testing and diagnosis can get you accommodations in high school and college, and medications. |
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I wasn't diagnosed till my late 30s. Was a great student and a great test taker. I imagine I would have been phenomenal with time and a half on standardized tests since I only missed the questions I didn't manage to get to due to time limits. Always forgot my musical instrument in someone's trunk, forgot to turn in on time the amazing dioramas or whatever I'd worked on for months. It also helps that I'm very nice and charming and have always managed to talk teachers/bosses into accepting late work or letting me test/audition on someone else's instrument. One of my 6th grade teachers called me her absent-minded professor. I'm the text book example of a really smart girl with ADHD.
Like you, my mom helped me considerably. She was a SAHM and had a car at her disposal, so she'd shuttle my missing items to me all the time. I don't think she harmed me at all. Without her, I'd have missed so many opportunities. I ended up at HSYP and later earned a doctorate. My dissertation chair basically took my "draft" out of my hands and declared that it was done. He knew me well enough to know that I'd already exceeded the school's expectations for earning the degree. He set the date for my hearing and told me to show up. Sometimes, people with ADHD just need someone to help them jump through hoops. And they almost always need medications in order to manage things on their own. |
You said "executive function issues" and needing to issue reminders - that is squarely in the ADHD realm. Now whether he also has ASD is another question. But if yourself are confused about which symptoms go with which disorder, you need to do more research and get him evaluated. |
I think you're right (OP here) and I suspect it is actually both things. Thank you. |
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Had neuropsych testing when my DC was 17. Diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety, and depression. It was good to have the data and a more objective perspective, especially since we weren’t sure about the ADHD.
I suspect teens may be more amenable to testing before they are 18 because, once they turn 18, some of the “I am an adult now and I make the decisions” kicks in. They may refuse just because they can and reflexively assert their independence, not because it’s necessarily the best choice. |
| Yes, for sure. Disabilities don't go away once you turn 18. Getting him tested now could help set up him for success in whatever comes after high school (college accommodations, ADA accommodations, interventions). |
| Absolutely get tested now. Get him in for ADHD evaluation with a psychiatrist and try meds. |