If you are not good at anything

[Anonymous]

If you are not great at your job, if you can't cook, whatever it may be - such that you are not really "good" at anything, are you angry with people who are? Does it consume you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are not great at your job, if you can't cook, whatever it may be - such that you are not really "good" at anything, are you angry with people who are? Does it consume you?

OP here. Asking because I have some remarkable friends who I rely on for life, inspiration and ideas, and I know that there happen to be some people who are not happy for others, and/or are unable to glean the positive from others (or life), so I am perhaps wondering how they arrived at that point. I know most of it is depression, but I am also wondering how they became that way, or how they think their negative behaviors are okay, or how they get to a point where they do not want to improve themselves. I have so much to learn.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it consumes me. Therapy hasn't helped.

[Anonymous]

No. It took until my 40's until I could successfully bake a potato, am not pretty, I can't thread a needle, I'm not a good driver, I will never break six figures or own a home, have been single forever, etc.

And yet, I'm still kind to the people I am close with who have/can do all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it consumes me. Therapy hasn't helped.

Can you elaborate? Do you fixate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. It took until my 40's until I could successfully bake a potato, am not pretty, I can't thread a needle, I'm not a good driver, I will never break six figures or own a home, have been single forever, etc.

And yet, I'm still kind to the people I am close with who have/can do all that.

Why can’t you do any of these things? Why don’t you practice, study, read up on things you want to do well? People don’t innately know how to do things well, they learn. Do you always give up when something is a little difficult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. It took until my 40's until I could successfully bake a potato, am not pretty, I can't thread a needle, I'm not a good driver, I will never break six figures or own a home, have been single forever, etc.

And yet, I'm still kind to the people I am close with who have/can do all that.

Why can’t you do any of these things? Why don’t you practice, study, read up on things you want to do well? People don’t innately know how to do things well, they learn. Do you always give up when something is a little difficult?

OP here. Please be kind. I meant this thread to be a place of understanding and introspection, sometimes much needed and much wanted.

[Anonymous]

No but I'm also good at some things. I'm good at those things because I work at them.

Pick something you like and work at it. Fail and then keep trying. There is no reason not to be good at something. Failing is no biggie. Quitting is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it consumes me. Therapy hasn't helped.

Can you elaborate? Do you fixate?

I don't think I fixate, but when it comes up, I'm so jealous that I tend to shut down. Lots of polite nodding and mmmhmm's and easy questions. It's difficult to have conversations with successful friends when you're a failure at everything you've tried.

[Anonymous]

Ha, no, it doesn't consume me. I do sometimes get a bit jealous every once in a while but meh.

But I will say that I think that at age 40 I am getting into something and I think I might be really good at and it's fun.

[Anonymous]

What you are asking is about jealously and envy. Do I get mad at others who are better than me in areas that I lack.
Nope. But, do I wish I can acquire some skills that others have, yes but I'm not consume with jealousy, envy or rage. Those feelings do no good for you. I never claim to know or do anything better than others. But, when I do have the experience, I would say, from experience, that is a bad/good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. It took until my 40's until I could successfully bake a potato, am not pretty, I can't thread a needle, I'm not a good driver, I will never break six figures or own a home, have been single forever, etc.

And yet, I'm still kind to the people I am close with who have/can do all that.

Why can’t you do any of these things? Why don’t you practice, study, read up on things you want to do well? People don’t innately know how to do things well, they learn. Do you always give up when something is a little difficult?

You obviously can't know how long/hard I've tried, studied, practiced, tried to learn, and read up on things. This is what it means to not be good at things. You also obviously don't understand how difficult these things have been for me. They haven't been "a little difficult" but nearly impossible.

[Anonymous]

No, I just accept it. It's who I am. I don't even feel compelled to change myself .
I'm about as boring and bland as it comes. I'm not good at anything - cooking, dancing, singing, I have no party tricks, I'm not quick with a witty reply, I don't like ethnic foods, I'm a homebody, the list goes on.

[Anonymous]

I was never good at anything. Seriously. Nothing. But I have a good sense of humor. I guess that’s something.

I became a lawyer and made a shit ton of money.

[Anonymous]

There is no one is “not good at anything.” If you think that, you’re stuffing yourself into a box of other people’s expectations and standards. You are ABSOLUTELY good at something, just maybe not something our society wants you to be? And who cares? You do you. Just don’t accept the bs that you aren’t worthwhile.