Pets and Nanny Share

[Anonymous]

Next month we will be starting a nanny share with another couple. Both children will be 3 months old. The one concern I have is that the other couple has a very young cat. We are not big animal people and have no animals of our own. I've heard a lot of stories (and myths) about the dangers with cats and infants. One specific story which frightened me dealt with a cat jumping in the babies crib, sitting on the baby and actually suffocating the baby. The cat did not mean to do this but apparently cats like warmth and the cat found warmth in the crib with the baby. I'm not sure how to approach this situation with the other couple or if I should just back out of the nanny share all together due to my concern. Does anyone have experience with this type of situation?

[Anonymous]

The story about the cat suffocating the baby is an old wive's tale. We have two cats at our house and 2 kids (almost 3 and almost 1). While it is true that before our kids were born, our cats liked to go in the crib to sleep, but the second the kids came home, they had no interest in being anywhere near them. So, I would not worry about that. Now our cats tolerate our kids, but in general they just stay out of the way of them. Of greater concern I suppose, would be making sure that the cat is not chased by the kids once they become mobile. My 10 month old LOVES our cats and of course he likes to pull their tails and grab their fur and they tolerate it for the most part and run if they don't want to deal with him, but another cat might not be quite so used to babies. I would assume that the other family has taken steps to get the cat and their baby used to each other. I would just bring up your concerns with them and see what they say. I am sure this is something they have already thought about.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone has heard that story about a cat smothering the infant (my grandmother warned my mom about it back in the 70s!). I really think it's an old wive's tale. That said, if you're uncomfortable about it, you should talk with the other family. (Maybe don't bring up that specific story, which, no offense, is a bit ludicrous. But in general the animal issue is a totally valid concern!) After all, this is a potentially long-term relationship you're getting into with them, so if you don't feel comfortable broaching this concern with them, what about when other issues inevitably come up? Could you have the nanny share at your house instead?

[Anonymous]

I'd bet money that the cat wants nothing to do with the babies. Sure, cats like warm places, but not warm places that wiggle. I've got the world's friendliest cat-- he'll take his lovin' anywhere he can get it-- and even he isn't too keen on the baby.

[Anonymous]

Yea, I have to agree with PP, my cat loved being in the crib before baby and when baby came wanted NOTHING to do with him. Now that DS is 2, DS is the one who is a danger to the cat. Of all things to get worked up over, this one is a bit silly.

[Anonymous]

If it will make you feel better, you can always get one of those crib tents.

[Anonymous]

We did a nanny share for a long time with another family who had a cat. That cat really wanted nothing to do with EITHER of the kids, ours or theirs. I don't think my son even knew they had a cat and he was over 2 by the time the arrangement ended.

Talk to the family and see what kind of cat they seem to have. Does he hang around their baby a lot? Are you going to spend a few "playdates" there in advance of starting the share? Perhaps that time would let you gauge how much the cat hangs around the kids. Also, depending on where your child will be napping, the nanny can always close the door. You could send a monitor if it was hard for her to hear him wake up.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am currently pregnant and we have a cat. I researched that story. It's completely false. It's an old wives tale. Google it, you'll see.