What is the correct reaction? Arlington @ Rocky Run

[Anonymous]

My son and his friends are middle schoolers in Arlington. They frequently go to Rocky Run to play basketball and soccer. My son and his friends are ethnically diverse but all good kids and do not initiate fights - just go there to play sports.

There now seems to be a grouping of family related kids, mostly younger than my kids, who now go there regularly and simply try to start fights with everyone. They have older siblings there, one is an older sister and larger and older than my son's friends who has attacked my boys and cussed and atracked them when they defend themselves from her younger brother. There's an older brother who hangs out at Starbucks, but stays out of the conflicts. Her younger brother walks around shirtless and carrying large sticks to threaten people, and is probably only 12 years old. It has happened a few times this past week.

We've told our son and his friends to just stay away from the park, but that is their closest park. This is a new development. The kids starting the troubles are also from a minority race (but there may be from different economic situations), but they are uncontrollable and will not stop following and harassing my son and his friends.

It was kind of low level violence with a lot of shoving and cussing on their part, and our kids trying to avoid the situation until the older sister, probably 16ish, came out and and scratched the hell out of one of the boys. Not worth calling the cops, but a 12 year old cussing and carrying long sticks to threaten people is just crazy.

The boys claim they did nothing wrong. How is this situation to be resolved ?

[Anonymous]

You call the cops.

[Anonymous]

Have you been physically present to witness this? Are the kids acting like this in the presence of adults? If not, that's a starting point.

A lot of times, kids will act better in the presence of adults. If you and other parents are there, your presence may be enough to change the dynamic. By physically present, I don't mean policing the play. I mean being there, hanging close by, interacting with your children and being friendly (smiling, saying hi) to the other kids. If you can disrupt the bad dynamic for a few weeks, you might set a new (good) norm even after you stop coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been physically present to witness this? Are the kids acting like this in the presence of adults? If not, that's a starting point.

A lot of times, kids will act better in the presence of adults. If you and other parents are there, your presence may be enough to change the dynamic. By physically present, I don't mean policing the play. I mean being there, hanging close by, interacting with your children and being friendly (smiling, saying hi) to the other kids. If you can disrupt the bad dynamic for a few weeks, you might set a new (good) norm even after you stop coming.

I agree.

This may or may not work, but at the very least, it will let you see firsthand what is actually happening and who is doing what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been physically present to witness this? Are the kids acting like this in the presence of adults? If not, that's a starting point.

A lot of times, kids will act better in the presence of adults. If you and other parents are there, your presence may be enough to change the dynamic. By physically present, I don't mean policing the play. I mean being there, hanging close by, interacting with your children and being friendly (smiling, saying hi) to the other kids. If you can disrupt the bad dynamic for a few weeks, you might set a new (good) norm even after you stop coming.

DP and no a parent shouldn't have to go to a playground with their tweens and teens to monitor what is going on.
I believe what the OP wrote and I believe it's happening just like she said.
My kid went to middle school and high school in APS.
This is the kind of behavior that went on and it's totally tolerate in Arlington so the kids are stuck and aren't going to get help from any adults who will scream they are racists if they try to do so.