Odd statement from MIL. What’s her motive?
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Anonymous
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MIL moves. A LOT. It’s just her personality; she’s a bit of a hippie, gypsy drifter-type. I should preface this by saying we aren’t close, never have been, but there has always been a mutual respect and congeniality between us. She recently moved into a new apartment before summer. DC has been with DH multiple times, but sickness or work obligations have kept me away, though I’ve visited with her outside of our homes, for dinner. Not too long ago she complained to DH that this is her least favorite of all the places she’s ever lived and she’s thinking of breaking her lease and moving on. So it was surprising when all of a sudden she complained to DH that I haven’t even seen her new “house”, and she wants us to visit.
Where is this coming from? It feels weird to be thrown under the bus if her motivation is just desiring a visit, which we’d be more than happy to accommodate. What else could be motivating her? Because it can’t be the fact that I, someone she’s not even all that close with, hasn’t visited the new apartment she is hoping to soon escape! |
Anonymous
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People say a lot of stuff, particularly flaky people.I don't think she is "throwing you under the bus" (???). She's just complaining. That's what mothers do.
You're really overthinking this. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like she cares you haven't visited. Her comment is factual so there's no proverbial bus you're being tossed under.
That said, sometimes people just talk out their a**es. Digging for a motivation is possibly a fool's errand. Go visit her if you want to and don't worry about her comment. Sounds like she'll move again soon enough and there will be another house you'll be expected to go see. |
Anonymous
| Ask her! |
Anonymous
| Sounds like she feels like she hasn’t seen you for a proper visit for a while. She might be worried she’s done something to offend you. |
Anonymous
| She said something to your DH. He chose to tell you. He chose the words to tell you. He didn't have to do that and it doesn't help. |
Anonymous
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I don't see where she "threw you under the bus". She was just commenting, accurately it seems, that you haven't visited her.
Even if she is leaving her place, it sounds like she just wants you to visit. This is all pretty harmless stuff. |
Anonymous
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I feel like you're reading too much into this. She feels bothered you haven't visited her at all and maybe feels like you are avoiding her vs having actual obligations. DH can go awhile without seeing my mom because of work obligations and while she lives 2.5 hours away, it isn't the easiest place to get to on the weekends. She definitely has felt like DH is avoiding her when DS and I are always the one making the visit. And he's not, but I can understand why she feels that way.
I think the issue of her not liking where she is has nothing to do with you visiting or not. She doesn't like the area and she's feeling offended you haven't visited her. These are two separate issues that have nothing to do with each other. |
Anonymous
| Do not overthink. She just wants a visit. |
Anonymous
It's just a random comment, OP. She wants her closest peeps to visit so that she can MOVE ON. 
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Anonymous
| She wants you to visit. She doesn’t think of her moves the same way you do: this is her home and she thinks you should visit. She’ll move again and say the same. |
Anonymous
| What bus are you being thrown under, OP? |
Anonymous
| She just wants to see you. There is no bus OP. |
Anonymous
Don't overthink. Pay a short visit with an inexpensive gift. Be gracious but don't comment on her place, subtly change the subject. Hug her on your way out. |
Anonymous
| Just visit her. Clearly you have been avoiding it. Perhaps it is your way of asserting a boundary because she has moved to your town. |