Telling Teacher about autism level one

[Anonymous]

DD is going into seventh grade. Should I tell her teachers about her autism and ADHD diagnosis?

She has had problems maintaining friends in the past. Though, she does not have problems making friends. My goal is to stay on top of the social stuff. I don’t care much about her grades. I could care less about accommodations. I care about know what’s going on her social life, so I can coach her at home.

What do you think? I know there’s a ton on the Internet written about this. But I can’t bear to read another article about autism. It’s just too much. Thank you!!!!

[Anonymous]

How can the school/teachers help her if you don't tell them she needed help?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I wouldn’t use specific diagnosis with schools. I would specify area of needs and state you are seeking therapeutic support outside of school and would like support at school. Give ideas of how she can be supported and try to maintain decent communication/ relationship with the teachers. Hopefully one will be a supportive person for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Do you have an IEP? We always sent a note to our kid's teachers explaining learning differences, reminded of accommodations, and shared what's worked in the past without getting into the specifics of the diag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can the school/teachers help her if you don't tell them she needed help?

+1
I think teachers tend to be more understanding when you talk to them up front.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell. Let the teachers think you are crazy parent in denial of your child's obvious issues.

[Anonymous]

Please tell the teacher. We can help with social interactions. No downsides. We see it all.
Educator

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have an IEP? We always sent a note to our kid's teachers explaining learning differences, reminded of accommodations, and shared what's worked in the past without getting into the specifics of the diag.

How do you get an IEP without disclosing the details of the disability?

[Anonymous]

Please tell up front and make suggestions that have helped in the past. We can’t keep an extra eye out if you don’t tell us. If I know ahead of time, I’ll make sure she is seated by nice kids and I’ll check in with her more frequently in terms of organizing. I’ll let the people who supervise the cafeteria know to keep an eye out, as less structured times might be hard. I’ll encourage her to join a club that will be a good fit. Lots of kids with her profile find friends as part of stage crew.

[Anonymous]

This is so school dependent! I have two kids with ADHD and AuHD diagnoses, and they have been received so differently at different schools.

School A (public): Embraced and supported.
School B (public): Gossiped about (by teachers!) and excluded by the school community from social/club events. Barely supported.
School C (private): Counseled out because teachers don't want to deal with low-grade social friction (but they did keep the kids who are vaping and abusing substances in middle school).
School D (private): Embraced and supported.

We live in the DMV. If I could do it over, I never would have told schools B and C about my kids' diagnoses. If you can possibly find other parents and ask around about a school's approach, I would.

A shout out to the nice teachers on this board who take care of kids with differences, especially the "we see it all" educator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so school dependent! I have two kids with ADHD and AuHD diagnoses, and they have been received so differently at different schools.

School A (public): Embraced and supported.
School B (public): Gossiped about (by teachers!) and excluded by the school community from social/club events. Barely supported.
School C (private): Counseled out because teachers don't want to deal with low-grade social friction (but they did keep the kids who are vaping and abusing substances in middle school).
School D (private): Embraced and supported.

We live in the DMV. If I could do it over, I never would have told schools B and C about my kids' diagnoses. If you can possibly find other parents and ask around about a school's approach, I would.

A shout out to the nice teachers on this board who take care of kids with differences, especially the "we see it all" educator.

Can you share which was school D?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is going into seventh grade. Should I tell her teachers about her autism and ADHD diagnosis?

She has had problems maintaining friends in the past. Though, she does not have problems making friends. My goal is to stay on top of the social stuff. I don’t care much about her grades. I could care less about accommodations. I care about know what’s going on her social life, so I can coach her at home.

What do you think? I know there’s a ton on the Internet written about this. But I can’t bear to read another article about autism. It’s just too much. Thank you!!!!

It’s middle school. She has a different teacher every hour or block.

You have to either tell all 8+ teachers and the advisor, or just core subject ones, or none.
If you are mainly concerned with social issues, then talk with whomever monitors lunch or PE or classes with lots of group work or lab partners. If that’s your concern or where things unravel.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher, yes, I want to know that your child has a history of social struggles. Ideally this comes in the form of an IEP so that the child is getting supports from the counselors and/or psychologist on social communication and friendship skills, but if that’s not a route you want to follow I would love to hear from you. Then I know that a) you are aware and b) if anything seems off one day I know you want me to reach out.

[Anonymous]

My HFA kid didn’t qualify for an IEP, but we did get a 504 for him with supports for social stuff and things like access to a microwave at lunch (he’s an extremely picky eater so it might sounds dumb but it was 100% necessary). It also alerted his teachers to his social needs and saved us having the same conversation 100x.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so school dependent! I have two kids with ADHD and AuHD diagnoses, and they have been received so differently at different schools.

School A (public): Embraced and supported.
School B (public): Gossiped about (by teachers!) and excluded by the school community from social/club events. Barely supported.
School C (private): Counseled out because teachers don't want to deal with low-grade social friction (but they did keep the kids who are vaping and abusing substances in middle school).
School D (private): Embraced and supported.

We live in the DMV. If I could do it over, I never would have told schools B and C about my kids' diagnoses. If you can possibly find other parents and ask around about a school's approach, I would.

A shout out to the nice teachers on this board who take care of kids with differences, especially the "we see it all" educator.

But you wouldn't have gotten more support from schools B and C if you hadn't told -- they still would not have been good fits for your child.