Private coaching

[Anonymous]

Is it really terrible to hire your kids’ team coach to train your kid on the side? He’s a very good coach that DS holds in high regard. DS is alrdy one of the best players on the team and gets plenty of playing time so I’m hoping no one would thinks there is any favoritism going on. Current trainer has a day job and doesn’t have the flexibility and time to fit in more sessions that work with our schedule.

Or should I just find a club-neutral trainer?

[Anonymous]

find a neutral trainer. it's not appropriate to give money to your coach to train your child, or for him to take the money from a current/future player. there are lots of people that give private training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:find a neutral trainer. it's not appropriate to give money to your coach to train your child, or for him to take the money from a current/future player. there are lots of people that give private training.

But why is it not appropriate? Clubs hold addl training sessions coached by their coaches, would that also not be appropriate? Or is it the 1 v 1 scenario that would not be appropriate? The coach alrdy knows my DS and has seen him play in games. Wouldn’t he be the best person to know what my child needs to work on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find a neutral trainer. it's not appropriate to give money to your coach to train your child, or for him to take the money from a current/future player. there are lots of people that give private training.

But why is it not appropriate? Clubs hold addl training sessions coached by their coaches, would that also not be appropriate? Or is it the 1 v 1 scenario that would not be appropriate? The coach alrdy knows my DS and has seen him play in games. Wouldn’t he be the best person to know what my child needs to work on?

Sure - and maybe you can hook him up with one of your single friends while you are at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find a neutral trainer. it's not appropriate to give money to your coach to train your child, or for him to take the money from a current/future player. there are lots of people that give private training.

But why is it not appropriate? Clubs hold addl training sessions coached by their coaches, would that also not be appropriate? Or is it the 1 v 1 scenario that would not be appropriate? The coach alrdy knows my DS and has seen him play in games. Wouldn’t he be the best person to know what my child needs to work on?

Sure - and maybe you can hook him up with one of your single friends while you are at it.

?????

[Anonymous]

Hi, Whats your DS's age group? I agree it could create bad optics. People get weird about this; parents talk and gossip... its seems harmless at U8-U10//gets testy at U11-U13//mean at U14-U16/// U17 and up reality sets in and jealousy and gossip diminishes as everyone realizes their kid is on their path regardless of what others do. Also, there are lots of other really good coaches who can provide other learning opportunities. For convenience, go with his coach; but for better development and to stave off some drama, consider going with another coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, Whats your DS's age group? I agree it could create bad optics. People get weird about this; parents talk and gossip... its seems harmless at U8-U10//gets testy at U11-U13//mean at U14-U16/// U17 and up reality sets in and jealousy and gossip diminishes as everyone realizes their kid is on their path regardless of what others do. Also, there are lots of other really good coaches who can provide other learning opportunities. For convenience, go with his coach; but for better development and to stave off some drama, consider going with another coach.

U12 on a pre-MLSNext/ECNL team. DS has never lacked for playing time since he joined. That’s why I’m thinking no one should think anything of it.

But noted. Maybe we get the coaching after he’s changed coaches when they move up to U13? Is that less of an optics issue? Private coaching with a coach at the same club?

[Anonymous]

Is there a club policy on this? If not, and you like the coach, you can ask him. Though the optics will be bad- more for the coach than the player.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you’re asking for opinions even though you’ve already made up your mind.

Optics aside, my kids have always benefited greatly from working with different coaches. The coaches see different things, connect and communicate differently, so my kids have more to learn. Hiring someone who already works with your son feels like a lost opportunity to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you’re asking for opinions even though you’ve already made up your mind.

Optics aside, my kids have always benefited greatly from working with different coaches. The coaches see different things, connect and communicate differently, so my kids have more to learn. Hiring someone who already works with your son feels like a lost opportunity to me.

I guess I’m asking for an articulation of why the optics are so bad that one shouldn’t do it? And if there’s other reasons not to train with a current coach. I personally don’t care who other players train with so the optics are lost on me.

As you said, having a diverse set of coaches and a new set of eyes seem to be the most compelling reason.

[Anonymous]

we have done both with private coaching and a different coach has produced better results. Not really sure anyone really cares about the optics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you’re asking for opinions even though you’ve already made up your mind.

Optics aside, my kids have always benefited greatly from working with different coaches. The coaches see different things, connect and communicate differently, so my kids have more to learn. Hiring someone who already works with your son feels like a lost opportunity to me.

I guess I’m asking for an articulation of why the optics are so bad that one shouldn’t do it? And if there’s other reasons not to train with a current coach. I personally don’t care who other players train with so the optics are lost on me.

As you said, having a diverse set of coaches and a new set of eyes seem to be the most compelling reason.

Your coach should already be coaching him. And if you’re not getting what you want out of him at practice then having one on one coaching won’t do the job. My dd has teammates that work with their coach and it doesn’t bother me since my kid is a starter. I think that a different coach may focus more on what your kid needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you’re asking for opinions even though you’ve already made up your mind.

Optics aside, my kids have always benefited greatly from working with different coaches. The coaches see different things, connect and communicate differently, so my kids have more to learn. Hiring someone who already works with your son feels like a lost opportunity to me.

I guess I’m asking for an articulation of why the optics are so bad that one shouldn’t do it? And if there’s other reasons not to train with a current coach. I personally don’t care who other players train with so the optics are lost on me.

As you said, having a diverse set of coaches and a new set of eyes seem to be the most compelling reason.

Re: optics, if other players and their parents become aware that your kid is training privately with the coach, and therefore the coach is profiting, they may start to assume your kid is getting preferential playing time as a result. If that doesn’t bother you, great, but it could affect your kid’s relationships with his teammates, which can affect play on the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you’re asking for opinions even though you’ve already made up your mind.

Optics aside, my kids have always benefited greatly from working with different coaches. The coaches see different things, connect and communicate differently, so my kids have more to learn. Hiring someone who already works with your son feels like a lost opportunity to me.

I guess I’m asking for an articulation of why the optics are so bad that one shouldn’t do it? And if there’s other reasons not to train with a current coach. I personally don’t care who other players train with so the optics are lost on me.

As you said, having a diverse set of coaches and a new set of eyes seem to be the most compelling reason.

Re: optics, if other players and their parents become aware that your kid is training privately with the coach, and therefore the coach is profiting, they may start to assume your kid is getting preferential playing time as a result. If that doesn’t bother you, great, but it could affect your kid’s relationships with his teammates, which can affect play on the field.

Agreed. Even though your player might deserve the playing time, there could be players on the team that don't get as much playing time and don't train with the coach for whatever reason. (money, availability, etc.) It is just a bad look if you are paying someone extra who determines how much your kids play. I agree with other poster, that different set of eyes is always good too.