My father won't move out
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Anonymous
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I’m afraid I may have dug my own grave.
My father worked for a campaign, worked for a nonprofit, and now has a job at a school where’s he’s making okay money. I’m afraid he is wholly disincentivized to move out - to say nothing about the cost of living in DC. He would like to purchase a condo rather than renting, and I understand his perspective, but my DH is getting annoyed with him hanging around and any real estate leads he’s had have dried up. WWYD? Do we slowly start introducing more bills but let him continue living with us? Give him a timeline to move out? I just don’t know how to push him out but I don’t want him to get too comfortable. |
Anonymous
| How long has he been living with you? |
Anonymous
He's been living with us since the spring of 2020. |
Anonymous
He’s never going to leave. |
Anonymous
| What does he say about his living situation? Yes, give him a timeline. It's the kind and reasonable thing to do if there's not the option for him to live with you forever. |
Anonymous
| Ask him to contribute financially if he's staying. |
Anonymous
| So he's below retirement age, gainfully employed, doesn't fully contribute financially to your household and has been living with you for almost 3 years? |
Anonymous
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After 3 years, he's already comfortable.
Give him a deadline and start changing him or you'll lose your DH. Same as if this were your adult child. |
Anonymous
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What was the plan when he moved in?
Have you told him you want to make a change or are you just quietly stewing? |
Anonymous
| Kudos to your DH. He deserves a medal. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, unfortunately he’s not going to move out on his own and he’s going to force some major unpleasantness to make it happen.
Depending on your financial situation, throw money at it if it helps. Eg “because we’re the ones forcing you out [because we need to the space for Fake Excuse, or because (not actually) Evil SIL says so], we’re going to pay the first/last/security deposit on your apartment so you can keep saving for your down payment.” |
Anonymous
| Deadline sounds right. But what happens when OP’s father ignores the deadline? |