Thumb & finger sucking in toddlerhood = unaddressed trauma?

[Anonymous]

This is what our Peditrician just told us at our 2 year well visit.

He said all was well but to get DD to a pediatric dentist due to concerns teeth and jaw alignment. He noticed she had her two fingers hooked in her mouth and she was sucking. She’s always done this when she was anxious or sleepy.

He said it needed to be addressed ASAP and we are serious about addressing it but I was caught off guard when he went on a lecture about “unaddressed and unresolved trauma”.

He assured us it didn’t mean she was abused or is being abused, and that childhood trauma is fairly normal. Especially medical trauma or separation trauma. DD stays at home with me but she got RSV at 7 months and was hospitalized for weeks and it was VERY traumatic for us, but figured she’d forget it.

I did notice an uptick in this because while she was hospitalized. I couldn’t nurse her for comfort due to tubes and monitors so she definitely was sucking on her hands more.

I know we couldn’t help any of this but this makes me feel horrible. I found some data on finger/thumb sucking and self soothing and some on trauma but is there really a direct correlation?

[Anonymous]

I sucked my thumb forever (even as a teen). I definitely think it could be related to stress at home.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:I sucked my thumb forever (even as a teen). I definitely think it could be related to stress at home.

I feel like we have a healthy and relaxed home.

The only prolonged stressful situation DD has been in is the hospitalization as an infant. I’m not sure how to resolve it. She’s barely 2.

[Anonymous]

My kid learned to suck his thumb at about 5 days old. We'd only been home for about 48 hours, so I don't put much stock in this theory. Everything I read about it at the time was about learning to self soothe!

Our kid sucked his thumb "vigorously" for years. That term came from the orthodontist, who had to do a decent amount of work to fix his incredibly high palate and crossbite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:I sucked my thumb forever (even as a teen). I definitely think it could be related to stress at home.

I feel like we have a healthy and relaxed home.

The only prolonged stressful situation DD has been in is the hospitalization as an infant. I’m not sure how to resolve it. She’s barely 2.

I'm sorry. I should have read your initial post more carefully. I absolutely don't want you to feel guilty or concern about this. There was no specific trigger for me, I don't think. I just was never stopped from doing it. There are 4-5 year olds that still take pacifiers all over this country. I don't think it's that different. It seems totally understandable for a 2yo to use this self-soothing technique.

To break the habit you may want to take out the thumb and distract. Nothing worked for me, but I think for most kids, this is not a big deal. I was just an extreme case.

[Anonymous]

I think that a kid sucking their thumb or fingers can be a sign that they are sleepy, or anxious, or understimulated, and so maybe you could argue that a kid who sucks it constantly is probably spending too much time in one of those situations. They might be sleep deprived, or traumatized, or has unmet cognitive or sensory needs, either because of neglect or a disability.

But a child under 5 who sucks their thumb or fingers at times when it's normal for a kid to be sleepy or anxious or understimulated, like bed time, or a doctor's office, or a long car ride? Then I would just be grateful that they have a way to self soothe. I wouldn't think anything of it.

I think it's a good idea to see the dentist anyway when your kid is 2. So, follow that suggestion. But otherwise, I wouldn't worry unless it's constant or getting in the way of speech or playing.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like bunk to me. So many kids sick their thumbs and fingers and not everyone one of them has “unaddressed trauma.”

[Anonymous]

My home has had high levels of trauma heaped on my kids, sadly.

Not a single thumb/finger sucker out of the lot of them.

I agree with your pediatrician that virtually no one makes it to adulthood untraumatized.

[Anonymous]

Now I’m wracking my brains for what could have traumatized my 1.5yo. He’s generally a super happy fearless kid but he likes to suck his thumb when he’s not doing anything else with his right hand or thinking through a new thing. (Yes, he’ll be going to the dentist in a few months and I’ll bring it to with them.) I want to say your ped is spouting nonsense but obviously I’m defensive on the subject… 😅

[Anonymous]

The thumb is just what my kid does because she didn’t like pacifiers.

[Anonymous]

First, I’m sorry you and your daughter went through the hospitalization experience. My second was hospitalized while I was on maternity leave and it was one of the worst experiences.

Second, your pediatrician is speaking nonsense. I would find a new pediatrician. If you’re not interested in switching, I would ask him to provide the peer reviewed research to back up his claim. If he’s unable or unwilling to provide it, I would definitely switch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that a kid sucking their thumb or fingers can be a sign that they are sleepy, or anxious, or understimulated, and so maybe you could argue that a kid who sucks it constantly is probably spending too much time in one of those situations. They might be sleep deprived, or traumatized, or has unmet cognitive or sensory needs, either because of neglect or a disability.

But a child under 5 who sucks their thumb or fingers at times when it's normal for a kid to be sleepy or anxious or understimulated, like bed time, or a doctor's office, or a long car ride? Then I would just be grateful that they have a way to self soothe. I wouldn't think anything of it.

I think it's a good idea to see the dentist anyway when your kid is 2. So, follow that suggestion. But otherwise, I wouldn't worry unless it's constant or getting in the way of speech or playing.

She was doing the entire visit but she was stressed and anxious because shots, strange man touching you and prodding you.

On average it’s only when she is tired or post-meltdown. But she does tend to fall asleep that way, hence the dental issues.

[Anonymous]

Pediatrician is crazy.

Finger sucking is calming for a person who is nervous or anxious for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that a kid sucking their thumb or fingers can be a sign that they are sleepy, or anxious, or understimulated, and so maybe you could argue that a kid who sucks it constantly is probably spending too much time in one of those situations. They might be sleep deprived, or traumatized, or has unmet cognitive or sensory needs, either because of neglect or a disability.

But a child under 5 who sucks their thumb or fingers at times when it's normal for a kid to be sleepy or anxious or understimulated, like bed time, or a doctor's office, or a long car ride? Then I would just be grateful that they have a way to self soothe. I wouldn't think anything of it.

I think it's a good idea to see the dentist anyway when your kid is 2. So, follow that suggestion. But otherwise, I wouldn't worry unless it's constant or getting in the way of speech or playing.

She was doing the entire visit but she was stressed and anxious because shots, strange man touching you and prodding you.

On average it’s only when she is tired or post-meltdown. But she does tend to fall asleep that way, hence the dental issues.

That's my point. I think that doing it in a setting like that makes perfect sense. It's very normal. Maybe she's a little more hesitant about doctors from her early experience, but that doesn't mean she has unresolved trauma.

[Anonymous]

First, I would ask your pediatrician exactly why they say this. They should be able to provide a source that you can review yourself.

Second, I would trust your gut. If your kid is generally ok, then they are ok, finger sucking or not! The habit may have helped soothe them in the hospital but I don’t think that’s a bad thing!

Third, don’t over pivot. Yes it needs to be resolved and yes it can cause dental issues. But taking away a kids soothing mechanism can actually CAUSE behavioral issues unless you are also helping them learn new ways to calm down.

So, proceed with caution and trust your gut. I would recommend working on other ways of soothing/calming for a few weeks FIRST before trying any methods to reduce the sucking.

Good luck! Your kid will be ok.