Gift Mid-50s Male

[Anonymous]

My DH is turning 55 and I have no idea what to get him. It has to be something more special than the typical thing I’d get like kayaking, kitchen knife (he likes cooking), grill, etc.

I mean it’s freaking 55 he should have something awesome! I am a not a creative person, though.

I asked his brother and he said “diapers” 🙄

[Anonymous]

If he’s like me, he really dislikes gifts. They were bad enough in earlier decades but now in middle age they’re just aggravating. At a time of life when the kids are leaving home and I’m pruning clutter down, the last thing I need in my life is more “stuff” to store or otherwise deal with. Also, at this age I’m old enough to remember a time when previous generations bought a few good quality (probably US-made) items that lasted forever. Today’s disposable junk lifestyle is just depressing.

Maybe something consumable like a really nice bottle of whiskey. But you get to a point where you dread being given more tangible stuff.

[Anonymous]

Like PP, I’m not big on gifts but if I do give one I try to personalize it in a way that is unique and not found just anywhere.

Even better is a shared experience. Maybe book a day trip, spa with DH or maybe massage, tickets to a favorite show or something to make more memories.

[Anonymous]

An original piece of art. It can be small, just make it personal. A painting of somewhere you went together, an antique map of his hometown, a painting of something related to his hobbies. There are many sites now that connect you to individual artists of all styles.

[Anonymous]

Budget?

[Anonymous]

Book a nice hotel room for the weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is turning 55 and I have no idea what to get him. It has to be something more special than the typical thing I’d get like kayaking, kitchen knife (he likes cooking), grill, etc.

I mean it’s freaking 55 he should have something awesome! I am a not a creative person, though.

I asked his brother and he said “diapers” 🙄

LOL. I like that idea.

I am late 50s who spends fair amount of time in the kitchen, if he likes to play in the kitchen, knife may not be a bad idea. Grill also a good idea. Or HomeDeport gift card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Book a nice hotel room for the weekend

+1

[Anonymous]

Nice watch? Cooking classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An original piece of art. It can be small, just make it personal. A painting of somewhere you went together, an antique map of his hometown, a painting of something related to his hobbies. There are many sites now that connect you to individual artists of all styles.

See, this is what makes me dread seeing a wrapped present on Father’s Day or birthdays. One more thing to find space for on the wall. One more thing that my kids will have to help me get rid of someday when we’re downsizing to a smaller place or retirement community. And money spent on something that could have gone toward a nice dinner out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I’m not big on gifts but if I do give one I try to personalize it in a way that is unique and not found just anywhere.

Even better is a shared experience. Maybe book a day trip, spa with DH or maybe massage, tickets to a favorite show or something to make more memories.

No, these are things women like. I experiential is the way to go but choose things he would like — sporting event, concert, cooking class (for this OP), etc. Not spas and massages. Most men aren’t going to enjoy that. At least not the masculine ones.

[Anonymous]

Big green egg. It’s a meat smoker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s like me, he really dislikes gifts. They were bad enough in earlier decades but now in middle age they’re just aggravating. At a time of life when the kids are leaving home and I’m pruning clutter down, the last thing I need in my life is more “stuff” to store or otherwise deal with. Also, at this age I’m old enough to remember a time when previous generations bought a few good quality (probably US-made) items that lasted forever. Today’s disposable junk lifestyle is just depressing.

Maybe something consumable like a really nice bottle of whiskey. But you get to a point where you dread being given more tangible stuff.

But that’s a tough one though.

What could a man want that isn’t a tangible thing?

[Anonymous]

I think experience gifts are good but not one for the couple, that’s an anniversary thing. A birthday thing should be for him.

Not sure what though, depends on activity level

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But that’s a tough one though.

What could a man want that isn’t a tangible thing?

PP here. We do want tangible things, but only a handful of them, which are of the highest quality and are heirloom items. The kind of stuff your kids will fight over when you’re dead. It’s a sort of sentimentality. And once you’ve reached the point in life where you’ve spent considerable research time and money having just a FEW high-quality items in your life… then at that point, being gifted stuff picked out by someone who doesn’t totally know / understand your rationale for why you do / don’t possess certain things is the opposite of sentimental. It’s a bit sad and depressing. One more thing you have to pretend to like and use when you’d have actually liked product “X”. (Or you already purchase product “Y” with the intent of using it until you’re dead.)

At this age, you might still have a good three or four decades left, God willing. Do you really want to think, on your death bed, how you spent those last decades managing more Chinese-made crap and clutter? And how you spent precious money on it? That just seems horrible.

If you must buy something, let it be something masculine. A wristwatch is a good idea, but not some quartz movement junk you’d find in a women’s magazine ad or shopping mall. Maybe a handmade Nomos from Glashütte Germany. (Probably $1500 to $2000.) Pocket knives? Then something high end American made by Benchmade or German Böker. ($300 to $700) Firearms? Colt is making their beautiful, high-polished stainless Python revolvers again, reportedly as good as the originals back in the 1950s. ($1500) Pellet smokers? Again don’t get suckered into Costco-club junk like Traeger. RecTeq is vastly superior and incredible customer support. ($750 for the smallest and probably $1000+ for something with a bit more room.)