Is DH forgetful or is he purposefully lying?
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Anonymous
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DH and I have several communication issues but my biggest concern is that we literally do not recollect events in the same fashion. Here are a few very recent examples:
DH bought DS2 a juice from the convenience store that had a wide mouth top. While he’s driving, I casually say “how will I give this to DS? His sippie cup has milk in it” and DH responds “rinse it with some juice, pour it out, and give him the juice”. No one is upset at this point, just having a regular conversation. I respond, casually, “how can I pour it out while the car is moving?” He doesn’t respond, but gets upset and takes the sippie cup, rinses it and pours it out of the car while driving. Later on, DH tells me that I’m just defiant and don’t listen to him and purposefully didn’t pour it out of the window because I wanted to defy him. I explain that it literally did not occur in my brain to pour it out of the window while he was driving and that is why I asked him how to pour it out but he didn’t answer me. He first doesn’t deny that I did ask him, he just kept that I should’ve done what he said, and I kept saying that his response was vague and didn’t explain how he was thinking of pouring it out, which is why I asked. Eventually, he switches up and says I never asked him, but I TOLD him that I was not going to pour it out of a moving car. This argument goes no where because what can I say to that? It’s simply not true. Another recent instance. We are getting dressed and DH hands me some Vaseline. I use it and give it back to him And said “here you go, handing it right back to you so you can’t say I lost it” (in a joking kind of way). About 3 mins later, he asks where it is, and I say “I gave it directly to you, remember?” He says “no you didn’t”…eventually, he finds it in his toiletry bag, and he says “see, you put it in the toiletry bag. Why would you do that?” And I explain “No I didn’t, I gave it directly back to you after you gave it to me” and he argues and says “I never gave it to you. You took it out of my toiletry bag”. It’s simply not true. I feel like he’s lying and doing this so that he doesn’t have to admit when he’s wrong. He routinely does not admit any wrongdoing. What can we do about this? I can totally get misunderstandings, but he’s blatantly lying about things that did not happen. |
Anonymous
| reading this was 3 mintues of my life i will never get back. you sound exhausting. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Cool story bro. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Well sorry. Didn’t know how else to explain the issue! Totally open to being wrong…but in summary, my issue is he says things happened that did not happen… |
Anonymous
+2 wow |
Anonymous
| OP here. Ok sure, I’m exhausting, I write too much. I’ll work on that. Since you all actually read it, what is your opinion on the actual issue at hand? |
Anonymous
+3 |
Anonymous
You also say too much (to you husband). |
Anonymous
Ok, in what way do I say too much? Please explain if you don’t mind. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like he’s tired and you’re part of the exhaustion. |
Anonymous
Tired of what? Does being tired constitute making up lies to avoid saying “oh my bad, I screwed that up” or “ok, I can see why you think of it that way”? Most of our problems lie in him telling me what I’m actually thinking or what I actually believe instead of just listening to what I said. |
Anonymous
| I don’t understand why so many posters are bashing OP. It is never okay for a spouse to create lies to fit their own narrative. |
Anonymous
| He called you defiant? |