What am I doing wrong in part time work?

[Anonymous]

I realize there’s so much privilege in this question - I’m not whining, I’m just trying to understand if this is just a wrong role, or I’m unrealistic or what

I left an executive job at a later stage startup because something had to give between my husbands and my career for our kids sake. I built things, ran large teams, was key to org, etc. I loved it.

I’m happy to be able to make sure my kids have a very present parent but never desired to be exclusively a sahm. I want to professionally do meaningful things and put all my experience etc to use. I’m not kidding myself in thinking I’m critically important or unique, but I want to be challenged and to feel like my being there matters to the org.

Everyone suggests part time work as the ideal alternative to still get professional fulfillment while also having time to be primary parent. But from my experience so far, part time roles are more junior helper type roles. You’re not doing anything critical and no one is depending on you. Which I get - if you can’t be there for the key meetings, or push work fast, or be the thought partner whenever another exec needs you, you can’t be leading the important work. What I get in my current pt role (despite having a senior title) is just to be available to help or little exploratory side projects. To me it’s 0% fulfilling and feels like I’m giving up a lot of flexibility for just having a professional experience that’s making me feel bad about myself (eg navel gazing about how did I go from leading xyz to making this 28yos ppt for them and doing basic research)

Did I just land a dud of a role? Is there any way to be both part time and still have the important work / leadership?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Part time sucks for intelligent, highly educated women who want to return to the workforce post children.

[Anonymous]

I did part time when my kids were younger.
Sometimes you just can't have it all. It's the mommy track and it's real. If this isn't for you in the long haul, consider jumping back in before too much time passes. Although not always the case for all fields, many women get a bit of a shock when they aren't able to just pick up where they left off. I'd say I was about 5 years behind my friends when I went back full time but have now passed some of them in pay/position. I'm not sour and I don't regret a second of time with my little ones, but it was a reality.

[Anonymous]

With your experience, is consulting an option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did part time when my kids were younger.
Sometimes you just can't have it all. It's the mommy track and it's real. If this isn't for you in the long haul, consider jumping back in before too much time passes. Although not always the case for all fields, many women get a bit of a shock when they aren't able to just pick up where they left off. I'd say I was about 5 years behind my friends when I went back full time but have now passed some of them in pay/position. I'm not sour and I don't regret a second of time with my little ones, but it was a reality.

How were you 5 years behind your friends when you mommy tracked yourself, but have now passed them in pay/position?
Just luck or were you some boss's golden child?

[Anonymous]

I gave up on PT and instead was lucky enough to find flexible FT jobs that really are 40 hours a week and allow flex schedules.

The thing about PT is it is usually by nature less flexible. You may have fewer hours, which is appealing, but to stay useful you need to make yourself available when people need you and that is hard to know week to week. Unless it's light PT like no work on Fridays, I could see that working. But truly trying to work less than like 30 hours for a company is tough if you also need flex.

[Anonymous]

I took several years off from full time work, and just went back recently. It was disappointing that I ended up getting a job with the same salary that I was making when I took myself out of the full-time workforce.

[Anonymous]

When I was working part time, I was not fulfilled from a career perspective. It was mind numbing work, but the salary was OK and even more important than that I was working a schedule that I could be home when my kids were home.

What did I do that was fulfilling? Go to as many school events as I could, volunteer as much as I could, I think I was a room mom twice. I did a lot with the PTA, led fundraising for the PTA and raised tens of thousands of dollars every year. If you look at the very successful PTAs, you will see one thing in common. Women who were formerly very successful in their career, but took some time off from work. We all take those skills from the workforce and apply them to our volunteer work.

[Anonymous]

I went into consulting as an independent consultant for this exact reason. It gives me flexibility and I am much more fulfilled by my work. On a PT schedule, I was not able to do the more interesting work, and it was incredibly boring.

[Anonymous]

Elements that I would look for:

1. National/international company with scattered teams - makes time in office less of an issue, since people's schedules won't overlap more than a few hours a day
2. Multiple, longer term projects and deadlines
3. Go to a place where you have skills that others do not have, they will be more likely to consult you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize there’s so much privilege in this question - I’m not whining, I’m just trying to understand if this is just a wrong role, or I’m unrealistic or what

I left an executive job at a later stage startup because something had to give between my husbands and my career for our kids sake. I built things, ran large teams, was key to org, etc. I loved it.

I’m happy to be able to make sure my kids have a very present parent but never desired to be exclusively a sahm. I want to professionally do meaningful things and put all my experience etc to use. I’m not kidding myself in thinking I’m critically important or unique, but I want to be challenged and to feel like my being there matters to the org.

Everyone suggests part time work as the ideal alternative to still get professional fulfillment while also having time to be primary parent. But from my experience so far, part time roles are more junior helper type roles. You’re not doing anything critical and no one is depending on you. Which I get - if you can’t be there for the key meetings, or push work fast, or be the thought partner whenever another exec needs you, you can’t be leading the important work. What I get in my current pt role (despite having a senior title) is just to be available to help or little exploratory side projects. To me it’s 0% fulfilling and feels like I’m giving up a lot of flexibility for just having a professional experience that’s making me feel bad about myself (eg navel gazing about how did I go from leading xyz to making this 28yos ppt for them and doing basic research)

Did I just land a dud of a role? Is there any way to be both part time and still have the important work / leadership?

You answered your own question.

[Anonymous]

If you were that senior then the PT role that fits is consulting. Why are you not consulting?

You control your workload and it’s purely intellectual and challenging. Every senior person I’ve met that wanted to step back became a consultant and most love it (although there are negatives as well).

[Anonymous]

I do project-based work where I have deep knowledge and experience (and also have a bit of niche knowledge that you don't find everywhere). I work anywhere from 5 to 40 hours a week but have lot of control about how to allocate that -- for instance I do not take new projects on in July or August, and even on weeks I work 40 hours, I can allocate it as I want (I can work half days all week and pick my kids up from school every day, and then put in a couple evenings and a full day on the weekend while my DH does something with the kids, and it adds up to 40 without me having to put in a 9 to 6).

My work is interesting and challenging. It's not as fulfilling as it would be if I did it full time because I cannot take as much ownership over projects as I would otherwise -- I'm always working with a consultant who "owns" the project and then I am a contributor. But my contributions are substantive and significant, I am often the primary resource for entire subject areas for the client, I have a ton of leeway in designing my part of the project, and I am well respected by everyone I work with. I don't do any admin beyond what I would do even if I was full time (all jobs have some admin work these days).

For me the key was figuring out what I had to offer that was unique and highly valuable, and then finding a way to sell it to a consulting firm, and their clients, as being worth paying me on an hourly basis when I was available, as opposed to needing to be full time. I think it's a very symbiotic relationship. When my kids are older, I do intend to take on more projects, though I'm not sure I'll ever return to true FT work because the flexibility of my current situation is too good. I love having the power to say "no", to carve out portions of my year where I simply do not work and won't even begin projects until after I return. It's glorious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did part time when my kids were younger.
Sometimes you just can't have it all. It's the mommy track and it's real. If this isn't for you in the long haul, consider jumping back in before too much time passes. Although not always the case for all fields, many women get a bit of a shock when they aren't able to just pick up where they left off. I'd say I was about 5 years behind my friends when I went back full time but have now passed some of them in pay/position. I'm not sour and I don't regret a second of time with my little ones, but it was a reality.

How were you 5 years behind your friends when you mommy tracked yourself, but have now passed them in pay/position?
Just luck or were you some boss's golden child?

Luck was some of it, but I wouldn't say I was a golden child. I got a good position in the public sector. My husband focused heavily on his career while I worked part-time and then returned the favor when I re-entered the work force. I learned a ton of admin type transferrable skills part time and I focused then heavily on my own career, aided by the ability to telework for most of my 80hrs per PP. You can shoot up fast in local/federal government if you can learn quickly and aren't afraid to dive into roles outside of your comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

PP from above. You often only have to stay in grade for one year and then you can move up if you can show that you are performing at a higher level grade. Sometimes you have to move out to move up, but conceivably you can get a substantial raise every 1-2 years if their are positions available.