Anyone’s teen prefer one parent over the other?

[Anonymous]

Does it bother you if you’re not the preferred parent or not so much? I have daughters and we’ve always been close, but my eldest is now reactive to me, and becoming dramatic about small things (she’s always been pretty easy). I ask one question and she’s snide. My DH seems to have better luck with her, and she’s extremely nice and patient with him. I guess this is normal. I’ve decided to just keep my head down and let him deal with things more. But I have to admit that it bothers me to a degree. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

It’s called hormones. Both of you? I know I’m snippy.

[Anonymous]

When they were younger, I was closer with our girl and my husband with our son. Now, it's the opposite, son and I seem closer while he and dd seem closer.

It comes and goes, as long as the kids are in good with one of us, I am good with that. We're in it for the long haul, and it's not a competition.

[Anonymous]

When my oldest was a teen, she rebelled against me and grew closer to her dad. Our second is a boy and he is rebelling against his dad.

It is developmentally normal, but can be hurtful if adults take it personally (which they should not).

Things level off. Be consistent and unbothered by your teenagers whims and rejection.

[Anonymous]

OMG yes. And it has lasted for most of HS. But like you, we have a younger daughter and she prefers her mom, so we kinda look at it like at least they each have a parent who they don't hate. It feels awful though, I commiserate.

[Anonymous]

My kids slightly preferred me when they were younger, but now they strongly prefer me. Both daughters, both teens. I am not sure if it's hormones or just personalities developing.

[Anonymous]

It’s normal as kids grow up and they become far more independent, for your relationships to with them to change. There will be strains, and it is common for them to become closer to one parent than the other. And it might switch over time. Or divide by certain aspects of your relationships. The kid may love to go to art galleries with you, for example, but wants to confide fears in the other parent, etc.

Keep the long game in mind — Raising healthy kids to be healthy adults, and take comfort in the fact they feel safe with each of you, but perhaps in different ways.

Yes, it can hurt a bit. Not going to lie. But it is normal.