Younger Friends
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Anonymous
| My DH and I recently became friends with a couple in our neighborhood. We really hit it off and I've enjoyed the times we've gotten together. However, they are approximately 20 years younger than us (we're in our 50's, they're in their 30's). I feel really weird about the age difference and self conscious that we're so much older than they are. I feel ashamed of my age when I'm around them even though they never make "old" jokes and seem to enjoy our company/seek us out. They've invited us to their parties where we are way older than anyone else there-the whole time I was thinking that their friends must be thinking "what are these old people doing here." The issue is me-they're nice, intelligent people. Just looking for feedback/thoughts. Thanks! |
Anonymous
Lots of 30 somethings and 50 somethings are friends especially couples friends. Focus on the commonalities you have. |
Anonymous
| Get over yourself. I'm 46 and friends with people in their late 20's and late 50's. In my experience after about age 24, age stops mattering so much. |
Anonymous
I have friends 20 years older and younger! Don't act weird around their friends - like don't keep bringing up how much older you are - but also don't pretend to be other than you are. They like you - they feel comfortable with you. It's nice having friends of different ages. |
Anonymous
| That sounds great! Don’t be self conscious. I have wonderful friends that we befriended when DH & I were in our 20s & they were in their 40s. Sometimes it is nice to be friends with people who are older /younger & can offer a different perspective. |
Anonymous
| This is the OP-thanks! I appreciate the feedback. This is my issue that I need to get over/let go of. And FWIW I definitely don't bring up how much older we are (or pretend to be younger) around them or their friends-I just feel self conscious about it as I've never had friends where there's been such an age difference. |
Anonymous
| This is a great situation, OP! I'm in my late 50s and really appreciate having some significantly younger friends, especially as I've been that younger friend to quite a few much older people who are now dying off in alarming numbers. I think diversity of ages in friendships is super important as we age, and it's also great for life in the neighborhood. |
Anonymous
The way to do it is to stop focusing on yourself and the voice in your head. Find out more about your friends. What excites them? What makes them laugh? What do you have in common with that? What might they open you to learn. Where might you do the same for them. |
Anonymous
| I am 44 and my best friend is 70. Don’t worry about it. |
Anonymous
| My husband and I became good friends with our neighbors who were 20 years older than us (their grandchild played with our child). We really enjoyed their company and didn’t think of them as “the old couple” at all. If they are inviting you over, they enjoy spending time with you. Don’t worry about the age difference. |
Anonymous
| This can turn out to be a nice situation for both couples. |
Anonymous
| I would love to have older friends! I am in a stage of life when many people my age have young children and don't have as much free time. Focus on what you have in common and enjoy the friendship! |
Anonymous
| I'm 57 and I speak to my 28 year old friend 5x a week. It's crazy in the abstract, but we just hit it off. Been going on for over 8 years now. |
Anonymous
my first spouse was about 10 years older than me, and my current spouse is about 10 years younger. it's important to have a mix of ages of friends. one of the newer friends in our circle makes friends with people in their 20s to their 60s, it makes for more interesting parties. |
Anonymous
| I've always (as an adult) had younger friends. |