Does switching schools harm kids?

[Anonymous]

We are looking at a very good private school, with small classes for our dd. We know that we can't afford more than 3-4 years there. We would then be moving her to public school in 3rd or 4th grade. Then, in 6th grade, she will start middle school. Is that too much switching? My dh says that the benefits of the private school might be erased by the transition "stress". Any opinions?

[Anonymous]

I switched schools 7 times between kindergarten and senior year in high school because my dad was in the military. I don't feel I was harmed in any way. That being said, we moved because my dad was moved and it was totally understandable as a kid, because there really was no choice. You couldn't stay behind in your old school as a 10-year old

I don't necessarily think your child would be "harmed", but if you already know that you cannot afford private school for the future years, why not just go to public school and spend the money you save on extracurricular activities or other special experiences. We did not often have the option of private school, but my parents scrimped and saved to send me on trips overseas, to special summer enrichment programs, to space camp, etc. I think those experiences meant a lot more than the school I went to. In addition, my parents paid for some of the extra after school activities, like gymnastics, that cost extra. Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, I just heard that academics can suffer. Did you transfer in military schools? I thought that those schools were set up to be standardized so that switching was less stressful.
We want the small class size in private school. We can afford the extra curricula stuff, we just don't want to go broke by paying 10 years of private tuition.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Fairfax County and switched schools throughout my childhood. I went to a Montessori school through third grade, then went to my local public elementary school from 4-6th grade, then to a top area private school for jr. high, then to Jefferson for high school. I found the lack of cohesion and being forced to constantly start over to be extremely stressful. I'm pretty gregarious by nature and had no problem making friends, but don't underestimate how tough it is for a kid to have to readjust to a completely new environment every few years. I also liked each school I attended -- and always exceeded academically -- which almost made it harder to leave each time. FWIW, my parents were just trying to do what was best for me, but with my kids, I plan to take the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on the personality of your dc, for one thing. I had a pretty chaotic early life and went to a number of different elementary schools as a result - AND I am a friendly but rather shy person. It was very hard on me to go to a new school.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it harms kids. But, what I experienced when I switched my son is that he had some trouble catching up to the new cirriculum. I originally had him in a private school and moved him to public in second grade. It made for some frustrating times and some times when my son didn't feel very good about his performance at school. Over time, it passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it harms kids. But, what I experienced when I switched my son is that he had some trouble catching up to the new cirriculum. I originally had him in a private school and moved him to public in second grade. It made for some frustrating times and some times when my son didn't feel very good about his performance at school. Over time, it passed.

What grade did you switch? Also, did you think that it had anything to do with the academics at the first school?

[Anonymous]

I switched at second grade. I didn't think it was the academics, but rather the curriculum. I always thought that the private school was excellent. I't just that when my son reached second grade in MCPS, he was expected to be doing things they hadn't tackled yet in the private school.

[Anonymous]

pp, yours is the course we plan to take, that is why I am interested. If the private school did not tackle those subjects, I would think that it was a problem. (?)

[Anonymous]

not necessarily. schools have different ways of teaching and different priorities. my son's school only did conceptual math for the fist few years so they weren't expected to know facts. some make facts the first thing. my son would have been behind.

[Anonymous]

I get it. Thanks

[Anonymous]

22:19 back. Yes - I am a military brat, but we did not always go to military schools. My two siblings and I went to a variety of schools, many of them in the local community with civilian kids. I will say that sometimes it was hard to make new friends for the first few weeks, but we got over it.

It sounds like you are already feeling anxious about the potential need to switch schools. If your local elementary school is not totally horrible, it may make sense to start there and supplement with other activities. It will be less expensive in the long run and you won't have to worry about changing schools mid-way through school.

[Anonymous]

I'm just going by my own experience where my parents moved to a better school district and bigger house in 4th grade. Then by choice I went to private school for middle and part of high school. Then parents moved again many states away (also went from private school to public school) for a better quality of life when I was a junior in high school. It was horrible for me. I wasn't a very outgoing person by nature and fortunately/unfortunately did very well in school and listened to the teacher - which doesn't make you popular as the new kid in town in public school. I definitely got that stuck-up label when I moved to a new school. I always wondered how things would have been different if we hadn't moved in 3rd grade. It can be different when you know people before grades , GT classes and interest in the opposite sex really matter. I just remember feeling very secure in my friendships and not really having to prove myself back in 3rd grade and I don't think I really had that feeling again until college. I would only suggest if you do decide to go private a few years and then public - if you can have your child involved in activities with kids that will likely go to the public school - (boy scouts/girl scouts) or getting to know the neighborhood kids that may help. It won't be the same friendships as going to the same school, but it may make the transition to public school easier if your child already has several friends there.

[Anonymous]

I just don't see the point in doing private only for 2 or 3 yrs. Save that for high school or middle school - which are remarkably more difficult than elementary school! Pay for the resources when you need them - not when you can find a great public school, supplemented with at home education. I switched schools going into 4th grade. It was fine. I went from private-public (city-suburb move). I then went to private school 10th-12th and thank God I did! I was very focused on writing and really needed a specialized liberal arts program - I was wilting in public school.