No friends at 33. How to get them?
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Anonymous
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I do have one best friend actually but she’s a no mom so I see her only about twice a year. I have another person that I see maybe every four months but we don’t really communicate. The last time I saw this person was in January when we took a mini girl’s trip, but again we don’t really talk that often. I also WFH so it’s harder to meet people. Basically, I don’t have a girl friend(s) that I can hang out with on a consistent basis or anyone to just hit up to go out with.
A little background on me: Im a big introvert with anxiety, so I find it hard to go out and meet people and maintain those relationships because I’m always worried about how I come off. I have a SO who I love spending time with but would like to have a core group of friends outside of him. Despite my anxiety I’m pretty laid back, so I’m not needy at all. So, how does a laid back, introvert with anxiety make friends? How do you guys make friends? |
Anonymous
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Met my local group at OTF—not BFFs but fun to hang out with, grab brunch, or do some sort of outdoor activity. Find something you like and just go. If you go at the same time you’ll start to see the same people. Say hello. Get coffee. Talk about why you like whatever activity you met at. |
Anonymous
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There is no way to make friends without going out and meeting people. For someone who tends to social anxiety, the best way to do this is to join an activity. Do you like to bike, hike, run, knit, read, sing, paint, cook, dance, play ultimate or volleyball or softball? Pick an activity and find a group to join. Volunteer somewhere. Take a golf or tennis class. Join the "friends" of your local park and participate in clean ups, etc. Join a community garden. But be very patient--it takes time to make friends.
If I may gently say, I think working from home *seems* perfect for many introverts but in reality in can be exactly the opposite of what an introvert needs. I work with 2 people who are very introverted and struggle with social anxiety; both have told me that working 100% remotely during covid was terrible for them, even though they loved it at first. |
Anonymous
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I'm an introvert and the reality is you have to push yourself, and put yourself out there. Volunteer somewhere, take a class, etc.
I signed up for sailing lessons and it was once a week, on weekends. I made two friends from that class. Now once a month we rent a boat and go sailing together, plus we do one-off other activities (not always the three of us). I started volunteering once a week and over the years have made friends there. |
Anonymous
| Sorry but it’s just going to be impossible to make new friends at that advanced age. You have to start making friends in college |
Anonymous
This is such a stupid response. |
Anonymous
| Get a dog, and make training the dog your personal project. When you have a well-behaved, trained dog, go out on walks in public places and choose a local dog park. Make friends with the regulars at the dog park. Also, when you have a nice, calm, friendly dog, people will just smile at you and talk to you. If someone talks to you about your dog and you want to meet that person, let it be your icebreaker. If not, put your earphones back in and introvert away. |
Anonymous
| Get a hobby that involves doing things in groups or join a group version of a hobby you already do and hope an extrovert adopts you? This is what I do. Force yourself to say yes to going out for dinner/drinks before or after hobby meetups even if you’re exhausted and practice making small talk. |
Anonymous
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Find what you're passionate about then find a group related to this- this is where your people are.
I met so many wonderful women at my workout studio/class. Not a gym but a small studio. We see each other every MWF, we get there early to catch up, we get together for happy hour etc. |
Anonymous
I can only assume this response was an attempt at cheap humor. OP don't listen to this person. |
Anonymous
Well it is sort of true. |
Anonymous
Np. I've changed since college and my friends from that time are more friends out of familiarity than anything else. |
Anonymous
No, it’s really not. I take it you don’t live in a major urban area that’s transient. |
Anonymous
| What’s a “no mom”? |
Anonymous
| I’m the same as you, OP. I’ve made a list of classes/hobbies I am planning to sign up for, but I’m waiting until I have the mental energy. |