Do I have any legal recourse for this situation? I am being harassed online

[Anonymous]

I was fostering a cat for a rescue group for over a year and a half. She was feral and is now semi-feral and trusts me and my boyfriend and our other animals. The person who runs this rescue is a narcissist. She is known around town as someone a lot of veterinarians will no longer work with due to her narcissistic/difficult nature and she also doesn't pay bills. There is no legit board of directors for the rescue. Funds have gone unaccounted for (donated funds).

I recently went through a situation in which I experienced domestic violence. I was going to move, but I have legal rights to remain in the home and my boyfriend cannot come to the home and hasn't been here for 3 weeks. I disclosed this to the director. She made it seem like the home is unsafe for the cat. She has a hoarded shed of cats on her land lady's property that no one can get into. Several people have asked animal control to investigate but they were unable to move forward due to it being padlocked (and they don't have search warrants).

The other day, I had to take the foster cat to the vet for a dental cleaning. I asked the day before what time I would need to be available to pick her up. Normally when you foster, if there is a potential adopter, they meet the animal first before proceeding with the adoption. I also like to send the animals' favorite blanket or toy and a short note detailing some information about them (likes/dislikes, daily routine etc) to help the transition. As I walked out of the exam room, I asked the receptionist if they have my number so they can call me when she is ready to be picked up. The director was there and said, "They will call me." This is where I felt things getting weird. I had a suspicion that she might pull on me what was about to happen, but I thought surely no person with any compassion would do this. And I said, "Okay, but how will I know when to pick her up? Will you call me?" Outside she discloses that she would be picking up the foster cat and I'd never see her again.

She had been acting like she cared about my situation the past week or so and extracted info out of me and then used it against me. I went back in the clinic and went into the exam room to say goodbye to my foster cat. I opened the door and the director was standing there talking to the vet and whispering to the receptionists. I asked her if she'd like to tell them about the hoarded shed of cats (She had no idea that I knew about this). I explained what was happening and that she was ready to let me walk out of there thinking I'd see this cat again. Then she called the police on me later (after I sent a message saying how upset and hurt I felt - and deceived) and said I was "harassing" her. A police officer called me adn thought the situation was ridiculous.

I'm heartbroken about the cat. She wouldn't tell me where the cat was going or anything. The cat has made a lot of progress and I'm worried it will be put in the hoarded shed or another area with similar awful conditions. I am really worried about this (not to mention the fact that the cat will regress in that environment after making progress trusting humans).
Now she has made a long post detailing what happened to me (several details could point to my identity) with the domestic violence situation, made me out to be someone who can't care for animals (animals are basically Gods in this household), and publicly humiliated me. She didn't use my name, but there is enough identifying and sensitive information. Would it be reasonable to get an anti harassment protective order or restraining order? I don't think it's okay for her to post about me like this.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea but you both sound like a hot mess. Here's what I suggest:

1. stop telling people your business.
2. hound the humane society or animal control until they figure out what's going on with the hoarded cats in a shed. Do not let this drop. Call them every day if you need to. (But you better made damn sure it's true first.)
3. No more pets until you get your life on track.
4. No more bad boyfriends--fix your picker and get rid of them after the first offense if it happens again. NO SECOND CHANCES.

[Anonymous]

Hmm - “harassed online.”


Is there any possible way you could possibly, just maybe, not go online for a while?

[Anonymous]

I agree with you. I didn't intend to share my business, but she asked me. She made it seem like I could trust her. I initially informed her because at first I was going to move out. Then she acted like she cared and would message me every day to get information.

I'm really not a hot mess. I am a working medical professional and I try to be a kind, caring person to everyone I meet. I love animals and have 3 cats and a dog. They are all very well cared for and have never been in harm's way.

The director of the program wanted to send the foster cat back outdoors where she was living as a stray because no one was interrested in adopting her. My boyfriend and I didn't want that to happen to her and we said she could stay with us for as long as needed and we paid for all of her essentials. It was heartbreaking to experience this. I don't know what happened to her and it's like there's no closure.

But to add to that, the online statements are really unnecessary and harmful. I would never do that to a person.

[Anonymous]

Don't you think you have more important issues to worry about right now? Not to be harsh, but worrying so much about this cat and this woman's behavior may be a way for you to ignore the big red flags you have flying in your own life. You're 3 weeks post a domestic violence event - take care of yourself first, please!!

[Anonymous]

There is a board of directors of the rescue? I don't know if you have legal recourse if she didn't publicly name you. However, if she's behaving erratically and harassing you otherwise, see if you can approach the board. Otherwise, delete and disengage as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think you have more important issues to worry about right now? Not to be harsh, but worrying so much about this cat and this woman's behavior may be a way for you to ignore the big red flags you have flying in your own life. You're 3 weeks post a domestic violence event - take care of yourself first, please!!

Yes, I agree. She posted publicly about the incident and what happened to me though in a very mean and harassing way. She disclosed sensitive details about what I went through and publicly humiliated me. There were enough details that I could be identified. I do have bigger things to worry about, but this is causing emotional distress.

[Anonymous]

just move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, she may have been rude, or indiscreet, or unkind, or mean, or unprofessional, but I doubt what she posted about you was really illegal. You'd have to talk to a lawyer for actual legal advice, but I doubt this is actionable.

People can do all kinds of things that are not illegal. That sucks. It makes it important to develop good boundaries about what you share and good judgment about who to share it with.

When you foster, you don't have rights to the animal. That changes if you adopt them, but not until then -- they are not yours. However, you can (and IMHO should) keep pushing about the animals who you believe are in unsafe and inhumane conditions.

Post the county, and people can help you figure out how to advocate better for the hoarded animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a board of directors of the rescue? I don't know if you have legal recourse if she didn't publicly name you. However, if she's behaving erratically and harassing you otherwise, see if you can approach the board. Otherwise, delete and disengage as much as possible.

Unlikely.

Anonymous wrote:I was fostering a cat for a rescue group for over a year and a half. She was feral and is now semi-feral and trusts me and my boyfriend and our other animals. The person who runs this rescue is a narcissist. She is known around town as someone a lot of veterinarians will no longer work with due to her narcissistic/difficult nature and she also doesn't pay bills. There is no legit board of directors for the rescue. Funds have gone unaccounted for (donated funds).

I recently went through a situation in which I experienced domestic violence. I was going to move, but I have legal rights to remain in the home and my boyfriend cannot come to the home and hasn't been here for 3 weeks. I disclosed this to the director. She made it seem like the home is unsafe for the cat. She has a hoarded shed of cats on her land lady's property that no one can get into. Several people have asked animal control to investigate but they were unable to move forward due to it being padlocked (and they don't have search warrants).

The other day, I had to take the foster cat to the vet for a dental cleaning. I asked the day before what time I would need to be available to pick her up. Normally when you foster, if there is a potential adopter, they meet the animal first before proceeding with the adoption. I also like to send the animals' favorite blanket or toy and a short note detailing some information about them (likes/dislikes, daily routine etc) to help the transition. As I walked out of the exam room, I asked the receptionist if they have my number so they can call me when she is ready to be picked up. The director was there and said, "They will call me." This is where I felt things getting weird. I had a suspicion that she might pull on me what was about to happen, but I thought surely no person with any compassion would do this. And I said, "Okay, but how will I know when to pick her up? Will you call me?" Outside she discloses that she would be picking up the foster cat and I'd never see her again.

She had been acting like she cared about my situation the past week or so and extracted info out of me and then used it against me. I went back in the clinic and went into the exam room to say goodbye to my foster cat. I opened the door and the director was standing there talking to the vet and whispering to the receptionists. I asked her if she'd like to tell them about the hoarded shed of cats (She had no idea that I knew about this). I explained what was happening and that she was ready to let me walk out of there thinking I'd see this cat again. Then she called the police on me later (after I sent a message saying how upset and hurt I felt - and deceived) and said I was "harassing" her. A police officer called me adn thought the situation was ridiculous.

I'm heartbroken about the cat. She wouldn't tell me where the cat was going or anything. The cat has made a lot of progress and I'm worried it will be put in the hoarded shed or another area with similar awful conditions. I am really worried about this (not to mention the fact that the cat will regress in that environment after making progress trusting humans).
Now she has made a long post detailing what happened to me (several details could point to my identity) with the domestic violence situation, made me out to be someone who can't care for animals (animals are basically Gods in this household), and publicly humiliated me. She didn't use my name, but there is enough identifying and sensitive information. Would it be reasonable to get an anti harassment protective order or restraining order? I don't think it's okay for her to post about me like this.

[Anonymous]

What a blotch! Here you kindly foster a kitty for over a year for the rescue. You run into major heartache and trouble, and in your trauma you share your predicament with someone. That person weirdly chooses to add to your trauma. Some people can't resist kicking someone when they're down.

IDK. You can try honey approach. Sweet talk her and assure her this kitty is well cared for and loved, and don't argue with her. Don't be confrontational. Butter doesn't melt in her mouth? I would wonder if there's a law somewhere that if you've had a homeless fostered animal beyond a certain amount of time, it's yours if you want it. Are you willing to keep the kitty for the remainder of its life? You do know you'll probably never find a home for it otherwise - who wants to adopt a semi-feral cat?

It might work. Maybe enlist other rescue groups to apply pressure on her to return the cat (but I would adopt it to ensure she won't have the ability to take it away again). Maybe Animal Control can put pressure on her. Best of luck, and I hope everything works out for you.

[Anonymous]

OP, step away from this woman and the cat. I know you cared for the cat, but this is just causing you grief and drama.

Report the hoarded cat shed to the proper authorities, and then don't go near this woman or rescue again. That is how you fix this.

I find it's best to adopt cats from the local animal shelter rather than dealing with all the drama filled rescues. Go find a new cat you can love at the county shelter.

[Anonymous]

Just because someone asks you about your life doesn't mean you have to tell them. This woman is not your friend.

[Anonymous]

People reading social media posts aren’t going to connect you with the post. It feels very personal to you bc you know it’s about you.

It’s terrible that she did this - the whole thing- but you keep saying you and your BF want to take care of the cat but I thought he wasn’t allowed in the house?

You can report the post and ask for it to be removed.

You can go to this shed, and look in or listen and confirm if there are really cats there. Then call the animal welfare league and maybe the health dept?

You can grieve the loss of the cat. It’s a terrible situation.

You can sever your ties with the rescue and not recommend personally to others.

You can take time to regroup and focus on your domestic violence situation

You can look for a therapist so you have someone to talk to about your problems.

You can take away the lesson that less info is more when talking to acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

You sound either very young or unusually socially inept.

This is not online harassment.

I'm sorry about the cats, but it sounds like you need to step away from this organization and its manager.

Also, are you sensing a pattern of people disrespecting you? The boyfriend, this woman, others? You might want to develop the skills to warn yourself early on that sometimes people might be toxic, and that you need to stay away from them, and not enter into a professional or personal relationship with them.