If you don't drink alcohol, do you notice that you get...

[Anonymous]

less attentive service when dining in a restaurant? Like, the waiter has already decided he'll get a $40 check out of you with an $8-10 tip, so they don't try very hard?

I noticed this last year and have really been paying attention this year when eating out. The most recent occurrence was over the weekend when dining out with my parents for my mom's bday. We were at an Italian restaurant and didn't order any alcohol. My parents ordered iced tea and diet coke and I had a water, so it's not like we were all drinking free beverages. Anyway, we ordered starters and our mains at the same time. Our starters came out via a food runner who then also brought me a water refill. Our mains then came out and our waiter never came to check on us to see if things came out correctly. I noticed that our waiter was focusing all his time on the tables that had purchased alcohol. For example, 2 tables down from us ordered a bottle of wine and were sharing a starter. He visited them 3 times that I noticed. He came by as we finished our meal and apologized for being so busy and asked us how our meals were. Our bill was $82 and instead of tipping $20 like I normally would, I only left $16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:less attentive service when dining in a restaurant? Like, the waiter has already decided he'll get a $40 check out of you with an $8-10 tip, so they don't try very hard?

I noticed this last year and have really been paying attention this year when eating out. The most recent occurrence was over the weekend when dining out with my parents for my mom's bday. We were at an Italian restaurant and didn't order any alcohol. My parents ordered iced tea and diet coke and I had a water, so it's not like we were all drinking free beverages. Anyway, we ordered starters and our mains at the same time. Our starters came out via a food runner who then also brought me a water refill. Our mains then came out and our waiter never came to check on us to see if things came out correctly. I noticed that our waiter was focusing all his time on the tables that had purchased alcohol. For example, 2 tables down from us ordered a bottle of wine and were sharing a starter. He visited them 3 times that I noticed. He came by as we finished our meal and apologized for being so busy and asked us how our meals were. Our bill was $82 and instead of tipping $20 like I normally would, I only left $16.

And I bet you squeezed so hard to those 4 bucks that those 4' Georges yelled OUCH!

[Anonymous]

We almost never order drinks when we dine out but have never had any issues with it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, sometimes. So what?

[Anonymous]

Interesting. If I eat out with my teen son I rarely order a drink. I don't recall poor or lesser service. If I did, I might not return.

On the other hand, if DH is out too (and even with parents or friends) and we order drinks and/or a bottle of wine at our table, and get good service, the tip is over 20% easily and rounded up, so the $4 short will be a mere memory.

[Anonymous]

yup, it happens.

[Anonymous]

I don't drink and have not noticed this for myself. Maybe I wouldn't know the difference since I've never been much of a drinker.

[Anonymous]

Never really noticed that. If he had to visit the drinking tables more often because they were ordering more drinks, and was otherwise busy, that would explain it. But if the reason is that they think they'll get a bigger tip from the drinkers, tipping less is kind of counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

Friends of ours were planning their wedding rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in Newport, RI and were cancelled (by the restaurant) when they mentioned zero alcohol would be provided by the hosts.

[Anonymous]

I very, very, rarely order alcohol in restaurants and over the course of 35 years and living in multiple countries, have never noticed that waiter attention is tied to alcohol orders. However, I also find it annoying when the waiter hovers too much (which only happens in the US), and my definition of good service isn't how many times the waiter asks me how I'm doing! The most important criteria is how good the food is, and that's not something the poor waiter can control. As long as the order isn't messed up and they get my bill promptly when I signal for it, that's I ask and all I tip for.

This is a YOU problem, OP, on multiple levels.

[Anonymous]

My DH doesn’t drink and I drink occasionally. I have seen a difference sometimes, although it is not as stark as you describe in the OP.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I order a drink and sometimes I don’t. I’ve never noticed a difference in attentiveness. In fact sometimes I’d like to order a second drink, but the waiter doesn’t bother to come back and ask, so I don’t get one.

[Anonymous]

Was there any problem with your food? Did you need anything and you we unable to get?

I don’t actually need a waiter to come around every 5 minutes asking how everything is. I find it a bit annoying.

You never mention that anything was wrong but you gave him a terrible tip. Maybe spend more time engaged with your table mates instead of tracking exactly what is happening with the other tables and you might enjoy your experience a bit better.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I bring a book, and we mostly ignore each other.