8 yr old girl becomes extremely shy

[Anonymous]

Dear DD has been sensitive since pre-school, and in the last two years becomes extremely shy. She is very quiet in class, and is afraid of speaking to anyone during social settings. Yesterday we were late for her swim team practice and she was afraid of approaching her coach to ask for which lane she should be in. She cried when I pushed her to go to talk to her coach. She always hides behind me when I introduce her to anyone (kids or adults). She labels herself shy, and told me several times she feels embarrased, because the boys laughed at her before. She always chooses back row for her dancing/singing performance, and speaks in low voices.

DD is a smart kid with good grades (will be in GT center next school yr). I spoke with her teacher about her problem but with almost 30 kids in the class, the teacher did not have much attention to a quiet kid. She loves her school and teachers and there has been no sudden changes in our family. I could not understand why she becomes such a timid girl, feeling worried and helpless. I tried to tell her that she is not shy, just sensitive, and encouraged her to raise hands at school. Things just get worse. Any experience/suggestions would be highly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Does she have friends? Are they the true blue kind, or are they superficial and apt to change frequently? Have you unobtrusively watched her socialize with peers? Noticed anything there? Does she get shut out or picked on? I know this is painful to even think, but is she in a situation where she could have been or is being abused? I don't have any suggestions, but those are questions I'd be asking myself, and then I'd talk to her pediatrician and school counselor.

[Anonymous]

here's a good article by Dr. Sears on the shy child:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t110223.asp