Cheating…

[Anonymous]

If your child has cheated on an assignment, how have you handled it? My DD was the one who let someone copy her answers. I am not excusing it and she should be held accountable. But, am I wrong that it’s a little better than being the one to copy someone else’s answers? In a similar situation, what punishment would you give your child?

Teacher gave both kids a zero and said they would contact parents. Not sure if they will or not but DD told us in the meantime.

I am close with the mother of the other child. Should I contact them?

Lots of lessons here for DD about what is right and wrong, how to stand up to peer pressure, etc. but it would be great to hear any advice from those who have BTDT.

[Anonymous]

No, it's not a little better.

It's maybe even worse, because it helped someone else cheat, without even any pressure of desperation.

[Anonymous]

Kids cheat.

Let it go.

They got caught and had natural consequences.

[Anonymous]

Grade? My daughter let other kids look at her answers for homework, and it really pissed me off. Doing it for tests IS cheating. Glad your daughter learned a lesson. I would just reinforce what the school said, and not punish her further.

[Anonymous]

DS was one of a group of kids involved in cheating in MS. He fessed up as soon as confronted. I let the school handle it and didn’t try to protect him. He got a zero as did all the kids. It was a learning experience and he was so upset I doubt he will do it again. I felt badly for the kid who shared answers and I’m not sure how I’d feel if I was his mom. But apparently she appealed the punishment and got him off.

[Anonymous]

The students at my child’s high school all seem to cheat.

[Anonymous]

I have same issue - my DS allows others to copy his homework. I feel as though he’s doing it to fit into his “crowd” at school. I think the kids are taking advantage of him and I hate it. But he continues to do it. No cheating on tests - that’s a line he knows not to cross (or at least tell me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have same issue - my DS allows others to copy his homework. I feel as though he’s doing it to fit into his “crowd” at school. I think the kids are taking advantage of him and I hate it. But he continues to do it. No cheating on tests - that’s a line he knows not to cross (or at least tell me).

OP here. Yes, this was not a test. I don’t think she would do that either.

I used to have the same issue when I was younger. I remember feeling pressured to share but then also lying often about losing my paper, not having finished my assignment, etc. The peer pressure is honestly hard, especially when there is a social “hierarchy” dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Lol, I remember this one girl who sat behind me always asking me to move my head so she could copy my answers on tests. In elementary school I would let my best friend copy my homework. I just didn't care because I knew I was smart and those girls were dumb and got bad grades. Best friend's mom used to ask us our grades and when mine were better she would lecture her daughter in front of me about how she should be more like me. Once, the teacher realized we submitted the exact same answers and called us out. I started stuttering like a fool, and my friend lied and said we had done our homework together over the phone. Teacher called our parents and confirmed that we talk about homework on the phone and it was fine. I was impressed that my friend could lie so easily and casually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids cheat.

Let it go.

They got caught and had natural consequences.

I never cheated except one time in college where I just could not understand the content. I couldn’t believe these friends were so bold and did it so often.

She’s involved in cheating which means she will probably go either way. There can be worse consequences as she gets older including getting kicked out of college. I would try to nip it in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Both wrong. Both deserve equal punishment. Both were punished by the teacher. I’d certainly be having a conversation with my kid, but I wouldn’t get involved with the punishment or intercede to reduce the punishment. And I wouldn’t contact the other kid’s family. I would talk to my kid about why they did it. And I would talk with my kid about how to improve their grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both wrong. Both deserve equal punishment. Both were punished by the teacher. I’d certainly be having a conversation with my kid, but I wouldn’t get involved with the punishment or intercede to reduce the punishment. And I wouldn’t contact the other kid’s family. I would talk to my kid about why they did it. And I would talk with my kid about how to improve their grade.

Both are wrong and deserve equal punishment. But I would be more upset if my kid were turning in work that isn’t theirs.

[Anonymous]

Stop worrying about who is better or worse in the scenario. It's all wrong and just let your daughter deal with the consequences of her choices and actions.

This is like asking who's worse: The murderer who wielded the knife to stab someone or the bystander who stood by, watched and did nothing to prevent, intervene or help the victim. The degrees of wrong here really don't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about who is better or worse in the scenario. It's all wrong and just let your daughter deal with the consequences of her choices and actions.

This is like asking who's worse: The murderer who wielded the knife to stab someone or the bystander who stood by, watched and did nothing to prevent, intervene or help the victim. The degrees of wrong here really don't matter.

All growing up I told my daughter to do whatever she needs to do to get good grades. Nobody gets welcomed into competitive universities because they received an honest "C".

My daughter is graduating from a prestigious Arlington high school next week and yes, she cheated whenever she needed to.

She's attending UVa in the Fall while so-called "honest" kids just as smart as her are attending JMU, VCU and ODU. That's a win. I told her just be careful at UVa that she doesn't announce when she cheats and that she cover her tracks. She's smart, she's very popular and effective with people, and often assignments are just silly. She just needs to jump through the hoops and she'll be golden whether she pursues career first or hooks up with someone who has great prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids cheat.

Let it go.

They got caught and had natural consequences.

I never cheated except one time in college where I just could not understand the content. I couldn’t believe these friends were so bold and did it so often.

She’s involved in cheating which means she will probably go either way. There can be worse consequences as she gets older including getting kicked out of college. I would try to nip it in the bud.

You’re an outlier.

You’re catastrophizing.